Tuesday, October 14, 2014

No, Not in the Ribs!

What is the worst possible injury for a runner? I maintain that it is bruised ribs because that’s the one that I’m currently dealing with and my present reality trumps your facts and evidence to the contrary.

Two weeks ago I took an elbow to the ribs playing indoor soccer and launched myself across the pitch tout de suite, writhing in pain for the ref to see because that’s the way you play soccer. Despite my theatrics no foul was awarded so I guess I’m not as good at soccer as I thought. Ever since that unjust incident it has been painful to run for any length of time. Each step feels like someone is poking me in the ribs from the inside, and taking a deep breath is completely out of the question. You can see how that would make running difficult, more so than it normally is. I’ve checked my symptoms on WebMD and it says that I probably have radiation poisoning so obviously it wasn’t just an elbow to the ribs, it was a NUCLEAR ELBOW to the ribs! That really should be an automatic red card, in my humble opinion.

The worst thing about all of this is that rib injuries seem to take forever to heal. This is the third time I’ve injured my ribs playing soccer and in both of the previous instances it took upwards of six weeks before I could run without pain. I guess that’s just the way it goes. I get older. I get injured. I heal slower and complain about it here.

Also, I recognize that this is the second post in a row wherein I’ve used a French term and I do feel bad about that but I also think it brings a little class and culture to the blog, a little je ne sais quoi if you will.


  1. Ian, just found your page and love your writing style. FYI the link to your twitter handle is broken on the "about" page, at least it wouldn't pull up for me.

    I also check webMD frequently and find that I have contracted 44 different types of cancer. In an odd coincidence, that is the exact number of times I have referenced webMD.

    I'm no Doctor or anything, but it seems like you might want to do what most people of a certain age do and stop trying to kill yourself by playing soccer. At the very least you could class it up out there by saying "Zut alors!" every time you go down with additional radioactive injuries, which seem to happen to you with a freakish sort of frequency.


  2. How did I miss this combo running/soccer fusion post? If you had mentioned a tasty beer somewhere in this post, you would have hit my trifecta of faves!

    Yes, I know I'm commenting 9.5 months late. I'm still working on my landmark return post and just looked up and - voila! - Half Fast post!


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