Friday, November 20, 2009

More Podcast Goodness

The latest issue of Banned on the Run is ready for your ears to consume, unfortunately your ears are probably not ready for the latest installment of Banned on the Run.

In this episode we discuss a lot of things that are not even remotely related to running, so basically it’s just like every other episode. However, the short amount of time that we do spend talking about running is actually very beneficial as we discuss the variables of VO2 max, the ramifications of over pronation versus supination, and how to apply the Pythagorean Theorem to running. And if you believe all that then I’ve got some ocean front property here in Colorado that I’d like to sell you.

You can always find a link to the latest episode in the sidebar to your right. *Makes flight attendant motion to right.* We know that there are many different podcasts out there that you can choose from and we thank you for selecting Banned on the Run for your listening enjoyment. Your Captain today is Raz (blame him for any editing mistakes) and he is joined by me and Amy. Nitmos was unable to be with us on this podcast and his peculiar brand of humor was greatly missed. Don’t let that stop you from downloading the podcast though because we made up for it by repeatedly taking cheap shots at him and I was lying about his humor being missed. It was kind of like that whole idea of addition by subtraction which, I think, is what the Pythagorean Theorem is all about.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Vanilla Has Left the Building

When I first started this blog I was bound and determined to remain anonymous, and I debated long and hard trying to find a nickname that would conjure up the idea that I was just an average, ordinary guy (of course, the truth is that I’m an extraordinary individual and well above average in every way but I didn’t want to seem too imposing to my average readers). I considered Average Joe, but it was too mundane, and somehow I ended up going back and forth between calling myself Plain Vanilla and Joe Vanilla which I realize now were both awful. Finally I decided to keep it simple and just go with Vanilla. Surely everyone would recognize that I was shooting for a plain, boring, average descriptor and not a washed up, over-exposed rapper, right? Right?

Anyway, about a month and a half and a couple of subscribers into writing the blog I posted a picture of my race bib and a link to the race website and that was pretty much the end of my anonymity. Not that people were rushing to discover who the genius was behind this rocking new Half-Fast running blog, but I knew from that point on that I wasn’t really anonymous any more. A couple of weeks later I even posted race pictures and kicked anonymity to the curb, but still went by the name Vanilla.

The reasons for using my real name have been mounting for quite some time. My wife, Candis, posts here and she uses her real name and refers to me by mine. Try as I might I can’t get her to call me Vanilla around the house. I used my real name when I was posting for Complete Running, I’m involved with a podcast (new episode coming soon) and it would seem absurd to go by Vanilla on the podcast. Finally, I suspect that many of you have acted on your stalker tendencies and looked up my real name. It feeds my ego to think that I’m cool enough for you to waste your time trying to learn more about me.

Despite all the mounting reasons to discard the name, I continued to go by Vanilla because there seemed to be some humor in it. I even managed to get a whole post out of it (and now I’ve gotten two out of it), then there was the whole Gorilla Ice thing which wouldn’t have worked as well if I wasn’t known as Vanilla.

It all ends today. Hello, my name is Ian Hunter, it’s a pleasure to meet you. If you want to know more about me then be sure to check out my Wiki page.

Update from thrīv: Someone from thrīv left a comment on my last post and they were pretty cool about the fact that I was mocking their name. Leaving me a smartass comment gets you another mention and another link. According to the comment they left, they’re giving away more shirts on their website, check it out:
Thanks for taking the shirt out for a run, and providing great feedback on the brand name and look of the shirt. Have you seen the other styles in the fall line? They look more "tech" than the basic shirt we sent you.

Thank you also to the others that left comments--rest assured, we are listening. For those that are jealous of Half-Fast's free shirt, we are giving away more shirts, details are on our website.

Best of luck in your training endeavors.

And yes, we referenced Strunk & White's "Elements of Style" while writting this comment. K?
Go check out their site for a free shirt and be sure to let them know that there’s only one t in writing. Maybe Strunk & White didn’t cover spelling.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


Six weeks ago I received an e-mail from a gentleman who was working for thrīv Natural Performance Wear and he of course loved my blog and wanted to give me a free thrīv workout shirt that I could write about. Not one to turn down free things I graciously accepted. After all, the motto that I live by is ‘if it’s free, it’s for me!’

According to their promotional materials, thrīv performance clothing is made from eco-friendly bamboo and cotton, so it’s far more natural and lightweight than synthetic polyesters. This unique fabric blend wicks sweat better than Under Armour, and it also has a higher SPF. It doesn’t hold in odors, and it’s extraordinarily soft. Making things out of bamboo is the in thing to do. We own bamboo sheets and my wife has a bamboo case for her iPhone which just proves how in touch we are.

As promised, the shirt was ridiculously soft and very lightweight. In fact, it was so soft that I didn’t even put Band-Aids on my nipples because I actually wanted them to rub up against the material as my chiseled man-pecs flopped around. I took the shirt out for a quick 3 mile test run and was pleasantly surprised to find that not only were both nipples intact when I arrived back home but they were also a little aroused which leads me to wonder when thrīv is going to start making bamboo performance underwear. Oh come on, you were thinking it too.

The major downside to the thrīv workout shirt is that it looks exactly like a T-shirt so I was forced to tell everyone that I ran past that it was a bamboo performance shirt lest they think I was some rookie runner out running in a plain cotton T-shirt. Other than that slight downfall, the shirt works great. I did notice that by the end of my run the shirt was sticking to the gorge between my sweaty man-pecs, so I’ll be keeping an eye out for that on future runs.

The only other negative thing that I can think to say about the shirt is that I’m getting a little tired of companies misspelling words, or spelling them phonetically. “Hey, let’s drop the e and put a macron over the i so that it’s still pronounced like thrive.” You know what this kind of irresponsible behavior leads to? It leads to people sending me texts that use ‘ur’ in place of ‘your’ or ‘prolly’ in place of ‘probably’ and it annoys the crap out of me. Guess wut? Ur prolly failing English 101. (Blegh, I feel dirty just typing that.) Yeah, I’m the guy who sends texts that use correct punctuation and uppercase letters to start sentences because dag nab it, proper punctuation is worth the extra 3 seconds that it costs me to type it! And quite frankly, I don’t want to be the kind of person who uses those cutesy shortcut words because once you start doing that you’re only one step away from being the guy that forwards e-mails chock-full of hamsters giving each other flowers with the subject line ‘jus 2 make u smile’. You make me sick!

Anyway, huge thanks go out to thrīv (which I’m pronouncing like shiv because it makes me want to drive one into my temple) for sending me the shirt. After this post it’s destined to be the last thing that they’re ever going to send me unless we count bad vibes or the cease and desist letter that their lawyer just started hastily typing upon reading this. The shirt rocks, even if it does look like a T-shirt.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Reebok Talking Breasts Ad FTW!

You’ve no doubt already seen the first Reebok ad for EasyTone shoes where the cameraman can’t help but focus on the sexy model’s legs and butt which she so obviously got from wearing Reebok EasyTone shoes and nothing else. I saw that ad last weekend and I was ready to give Reebok my full endorsement, but then just when I thought that Reebok couldn’t get any awesomer they went and came out with the following ad featuring talking breasts. It’s like they’re in my head. Seriously, I’m always thinking breasts are talking to me.

Come now, when someone is speaking to you it’s rude not to look at them. But perhaps you find yourself thinking ‘the original commercial was pretty good but those shorts covered way too much of the model’s butt for me to determine how well those Reebok EasyTone shoes are working.’ Well fear not tushie aficionados, they also have the ad below which is just what you’ve been looking for, although it does get a little repetitive after the first thirty times through it.

By running ads that focus on the legs, breasts and the derriere Reebok has pretty much achieved the illusive Triple Crown of chauvinism in the objectification of women sweepstakes. Well played Reebok. So who are these ads designed to reach? While the frat boys in the Reebok marketing department are probably high fiving themselves over these ads, the shoes are clearly designed for women but what possible effect could those ads have on women other than to create a feeling of inadequacy? Is that really the route Reebok wants to go? Whoa. Sorry, I’m getting a little too deep and thoughtful for a Friday video post. (It’s just the medicine talking.) Heck, I’m getting a little too deep and thoughtful for a Half-Fast post period. Perhaps I’ll just go back to quiet admiration. Yes, that’s exactly what I’ll do.

[Via Warming Glow]

Thursday, November 5, 2009


Last week my 6 year old brought home something special from school, I believe the technical term for it is H1N1. Not officially confirmed (though there have been confirmed H1N1 cases at his school) but at the very least we all have some flu-ey type of virus thing. It sucks.

Combine that with the week (OK, fine two weeks) that I took off from running after the Denver Half Marathon and it’s been almost three weeks since I’ve run. On the bright side I can’t wait to get back to it. That’s about all I feel like typing today so enjoy this video of NYC Marathon winner Meb Keflezighi reading the Top 10 on Letterman. I stole it from Mike at Running Is Funny. (Shhhhh. Don’t tell.)

I think my favorites are #4 and #5.