Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Failure in the Making

There’s been little running as of late and even littler caring. Shocking, right? I don’t know if it’s the product of a sub-par year of racing or if it’s just me being lazy. Probably the latter. With the Denver Half Marathon less than 4 weeks away now, I’m on a collision course with failure. The light at the end of the tunnel is actually a train and I can’t even muster up the fear to step off the tracks. Usually the closer I get to race day the more dedicated I become to my training but I can’t remember the last time I went out for a long run and I can’t even go look it up on my running log because lately I really haven’t bothered to write my runs down.

Unfortunately those crafty folks at the Denver Half Marathon suckered me in several months ago with the early bird discount otherwise I probably wouldn’t even consider running it. I’m thinking that my goal for the race should just be to try to avoid another PW at the half marathon distance this year but even that seems a little na├»ve. Even Candis’ taunts that she’s going to beat me haven’t scared me into training harder, in fact, the other day I told her that I don’t really give a crap how slow my time is and it’s completely true. 3 hours and 10 minutes, here I come!

It will make for an entertaining race report, as Candis likes to remind me: “It’s much funnier on the blog when you fail.” I’m sure when it comes time to write the race report I’ll be befuddled as to why I continue to get slower this year, but you can all point me back to this post and remind me that I haven’t been running nearly enough to expect good things at the Denver Half Marathon. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about getting slower (at least not in this post) I’m just putting it out there that I don’t feel like running much right now, and I’m OK with that.

Who you should be concerned for is Candis, because apparently laziness loves company just as much as misery does; I’ve been trying to talk her into skipping her training runs, and I know what her weaknesses are. While she’s trying to get ready to run in the evening, I’m pouring her a glass of wine. When she gets up to run on Saturday morning, I suggest breakfast at LePeep. I may be fixing to go down hard, but I’m taking as many people with me as I can. I’m like the Pied Piper of laziness. Speaking of which, why don’t you skip your training run today. You’ve earned a much needed break from running and I’m sure there’s something good on TV tonight. (Wipeout anyone?) In fact, you know what? Go ahead and take the rest of the week off. You probably deserve it, I know I do.

30 comments:

  1. You're right. I'm sick of this marathon training. I'm going to skip it. Thanks for talking some sense.

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  2. i have been bitten by the same bug. glad to see i am not the only one who stopped caring.

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  3. Well done. This is excellent cover for your ongoing secret running streak. I like the reverse psychology! I will go out and "not run" right now!

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  4. holy crap...you just summed up how IVE been feeling about running and trining for the Denver Marathon as well! i think we all need to just SUCK IT UP and do it already!!!

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  5. Maybe I jinxed you in January. Go with that. Project on someone else. I do.

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  6. You're going to hate yourself come January when you actually are motivated and you're buried in two feet of snow. Or not. Both likely.

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  7. To those of us injured (ahem) I will not be taken down like a rat! I wll fight you and your pied piper laziness horn with my little rat arms!

    Or I'll just try to go for a run.

    It's ok to be lazy for a bit. Just don't turn into a full on potato.

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  8. I try to tell myself exactly what Candis says every time I flub up. It makes my readers feel better about themselves. I'm so selfless.

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  9. "running advice you don't need" indeed

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  10. 3 hours and 10 minutes, here I come!

    Well, I guess it's the thought that counts but if it's going to take you THAT long to run 13.2 miles, there is really no reason to've forewarned "3 hours and 10 minutes" you were coming because it'll see you slowly and awkwardly waddling toward it in the distance long before you get there.

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  11. And that would be doubly foolish of you because a half is only 13.1 miles.

    Geez, man! Get your facts straight!

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  12. So what, you're in a slump. No biggie. Some people would LOVE a 3:10 for a half. ;O)

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  13. Slumps must be in the air- I too have been quite lazy with my running. But your "slump time" is my dream time!!!

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  14. it isn't really all that funny when you fail, but it may bring a smile to my face.

    you'll be fine, you have the stills to make it happen.

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  15. This must be a viral thing going around. Definitely decided that sleeping was better than running this morning.

    But I'm sure part of my problem is that I've already finished my 20 and have decided that "tapering" = "slothing". Also, the weather in CO sucks. Who wants to run in the cold anyway?

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  16. I'm with you....at least on the blogging thing. No motivation for that. running, on the other hand, is going fine. Yay for priorities!

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  17. I was with you on the no running...
    until I stepped on the scale this morning.

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  18. I've been having a hard time doing my (highest mileage weeks of the whole damn plan, conveniently) marathon training the past couple of weeks as well. I even foolishly tried to blame the poor peanut butter M&M's! Shameful! It's not their fault! Sometimes Mommy and Running just don't love each other as much anymore...

    Maybe I'll see you at Denver (though I damn well better be in front of you, looking waaaayyy back at you with binoculars or something).

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  19. I think I will have a beer instead of running today. The half for which I am training is in mid Jan so plenty of time to catch up, I think.

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  20. Just look at it this way: you've already run a full. There is NO need to do anything to get ready for the half.

    That's what I continually tell myself.

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  21. I feel your pain. I have a 15K in a week and I feel under-prepared for it! I can't even blame the weather. It's just my lack of motivation. I think I'm looking to just finish the race and not try to beat any of my previous times. Sad thing is I haven't even signed up officially for the race but I feel like I have to do it.

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  22. Yeah, running sucks. I'm doing my first half marathon in two more weeks and I haven't trained much at ALL. I still run 5 days a week or so, but always shorter distances. The 15K I ran a few weeks back nearly killed me.

    Candis is right, though. We're not at all interested in reading about your successes. Embrace your inner suck, knowing that at least it provides entertainment and amusement to us, your twisted, insensitive readers.

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  23. It's going around... let me know if you find a cure for running apathy because I have it too!

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  24. Mr. Vanilla... that's hilarious... I got so stressed out just thinking you were four weeks away and have not had a long run in a while... Please, take it easy so the train doesn't hit you hard... and I hope Candis doesn't fall into your traps...though I recognize you are skillful in the matter of temptation....

    cheers, and keep the sense of humor.... very much needed!!!

    sincere-lee
    lizzie lee

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  25. Eh, unfortunately (fortunately?) I'm so accustomed to running now that it takes something like a train to derail me from going out for a planned run.

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  26. Ha! What fun is it being down if you can't be someone else's anchor!?

    I hear you. I am hoping that it will pass in a week or so and we'll all be back to our normal selves.

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  27. Hmmm, improving your own performance by making everyone else slower. Subtle.

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  28. Even me, my running has suffered this month -- half or less of what's been normal for the last 3 years. Must be something in the air.

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  29. I am in the same boat!! Haha....after a summer off I have a marathon in 25 days....this should be fun. Good luck to both of us!

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  30. Wipeout is a big favorite at my house. I tucked my four year old in the other night and he said, "Good night, and big balls."

    I was so proud.

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