Thursday, July 23, 2009

Rock Out

Do you ever get a rock stuck in your shoe when you’re running? This happened to me last night and it sucked. Now I don’t want to make it seem like I’ve never had a rock in my shoe whilst running, it has just never been quite as painful as it was last night and honestly it has never occurred to me that I could squeeze a blog post out of it. Plus this wasn’t just any old rock that I got stuck in my shoe. It was an angry devil-rock, intent on destroying my sole *rimshot!* and I suspect it was made out of kryptonite because what kind of pansy complains about a regular rock in his shoe? Not this pansy guy, that’s for sure.

It happened early in the run, within the first mile, but I was already starting to get into my groove like Madonna, and I didn’t want to stop, untie my shoes and go through that whole rigmarole just for a teeny, tiny, little rock. I was in the zone and everyone knows that you don’t ever stop when you’re in the zone so I kept on running. Usually when a rock gets into my shoe if I keep running it moves around and nestles in to one of the nooks or crannies in my shoes and I don’t feel it anymore. Despite me routinely shaking my foot mid-stride to move the rock, it never moved. Instead the devil-rock planted itself squarely beneath the ball of my left foot and it stayed there for the remainder of my run. Again, I could have stopped and removed the rock, but I really, really didn’t want to because I didn’t want to mess up my splits and it really didn’t hurt that bad.

When I got home I took off my shoe and held it up vertically so the rock dropped into the heel section. My eyes narrowed to a glare and I found myself mouthing ‘well hello there you little sonofa...’ and then I realized that my neighbors were watching me and probably wondering why I was so mad at my shoe. I dumped the rock onto the driveway and noticed that it wasn’t nearly as big as it felt inside my shoe. Not so tough now are you?

This morning I have a nice big blister from that stupid little rock. My advice to you, fair reader, is that next time you get a rock in your shoe you should stop running, remove your shoe and evacuate the superfluous rocks. You heard it here first; don’t continue to run with rocks in your shoe. Additional advice columns that you can expect to see in the near future at Half-Fast include:
  • How Hydrating Could Benefit You
  • Don’t Eat Mexican Food Before a Run (Note: I did this last night too, but that’s a story for another post.)
  • Peeing Into the Wind, Why It’s a Bad Idea
  • Running Up Hills, It’s Harder!
  • Off Topic: Buy Low, Sell High - A Revolutionary New Way to Invest.
  • The Sky, It’s Blue!

If you missed it yesterday (what, you don’t come here every day?), please see the post below in which I do penance for all the mean-spiritedness that pollutes this blog on a daily basis and donate to a good cause if you feel inclined. Don’t make me break out the ol’ Jedi Mind Trick.


  1. I once split a 5 lb Big Juan burrito with my husband before a 6 mile run. Very, very bad idea!

  2. I once ate hot wings the night before a marathon and PR'd - so I am really interested to see how this Mexican Food Post works out.

  3. I don’t want to make it seem like I’ve never had a rock in my shoe whilst running, ... [but] honestly it ... never occurred to me that I could squeeze a blog post out of it.

    Since, in the sentence quoted above, you didn't say "it ... never occurred to me that I could squeeze a GOOD blog post out of it", I have nothing to object to in that passage.

    Other than its prolixity, which I did my best to fix.

    Way to tough out teh run, Mr. Vanilla. Rock [har!] On! *rim-job*!

    Er, ... I mean *-shot!*

  4. So, if you ever get a piece of dust blown into your eye, will that be a two-parter?

  5. On the same note as Jamoosh, I had pizza, wings and beer the night before a half and PR'd, but that was seriously b/c I had shit myself and needed to get to the finish so I could clean up.

  6. Thanks for giving your blessing to all of us to blog about any minutia we choose. Next week on MM: my Garmin tan. You think I'm kidding.

  7. 571 words about a rock in your shoe. Well, Andy Rooney is 90 years old and he isn't going to live forever. I forwarded this blog post to CBS News.

  8. Vanilla,

    I can relate but my story shows I am not near as tough as you are. In Feburary of this year I ran a 1/2 marathon where 10 of the 13.1 miles was on a gravel road. I had to take my shoes off 2x and each time I had at least 10 rocks of various sizes in my shoe. I am wuss when it comes to rocks in my shoes. Thanks for helping me see that I am not the only crazy runner that worries about important running things like rocks!! :) Love the blog

  9. Hmmm... I wondered why you didn't just get the rock out sooner, Madonna or no. Stubborn runner!

  10. I don't think I've ever had a rock in my shoe. But if I did, I can't imagine I'd wait until the END of my run to get it out!

  11. I'm often guilty about saying too much about nothing...

    Carb loading with beer for a long run is never a good idea. It goes hand-in-hand with the Mexican topic.


  12. I have a nice little blood spot on the heel of my shoe from a tiny, midget pebble I continued to run with, but I never made this connection with not running with a rock in my shoe. Thanks for the advice.

  13. "and noticed that it wasn’t nearly as big"


  14. I often continue running with a rock in my shoe just like you. I know. I feel stupid, too.


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