Thursday, June 4, 2009

Rundom Thoughts

Often times when I’m out running I get these crazy thoughts that enter my head and they just keep ricocheting around in there probably doing all kinds of permanent damage so I’ve decided to relieve some of the pressure by posting them. I guess you could think of this post as me relieving myself onto the blog. I’ve got precious little brain capacity as it is and I’d like to start using it for something constructive, like figuring out what the Iko Iko lyrics mean. Note: The title of this post is a play on the words run and random since these random thoughts are running related. You see what I did there? It’s lame but catchy (latchey?) and if you don’t like it then you can take a long run off a short pier.
  • Why can’t the Garmin heart rate monitor be incorporated into the watch’s wrist strap? This is just laziness on the part of the Garmin R & D team if you ask me.
  • I don’t know who invented the treadmill, but I like to think that he’s burning in Hell right now.
  • I like to think that even more when I’m actually using a treadmill.
  • When people’s alien encounters are reenacted on TV, why aren’t any of the aliens ever fat? Is it because they all run or have they, in their technologically advanced state, figured out the real ‘one rule’ to eliminating stomach fat?
  • Running every day during the month of June is not nearly as impressive as I’d originally convinced myself it would be, it’s also not as sexy as I’d hoped.
  • I think Runner’s World hates the Bolder Boulder, but I love them both. I’m a lover not a fighter.
  • Here’s a free racing tip for you: Passing is like the Dutchie, you should always do it on the left hand side.
  • The other day I ran past a Jack of Hearts playing card lying on the path and was convinced that it foreshadowed something ominous. I thought that maybe it meant my friend Jack was going to have a heart attack but then I remembered that I don’t have a friend named Jack. Whew! Good thing it wasn’t the Chuck of Hearts.
  • It’s rude for people to honk at me in the crosswalk when the blinking orange hand is clearly signaling for me to ‘come on over here.’
  • Yesterday was National Running Day, if this is the first you’re hearing of it then you missed it and you don’t read enough running blogs.
  • National Running Day = totally pointless.
  • I think if we were being honest we’d all agree that the phrase ‘easy run’ is an oxymoron at best and an outright lie at worst. If it were easy then everyone would do it.


  1. I agree....NRD...totally pointless. In fact that's kind of what I wrote about today. People who already run are the only people who know or care about it.

  2. That's exactly what the orange hand means - how DARE they honk!

    Random thoughts are so....random. You're brave for putting them out there. I don't think mine are fit for print.

  3. the treadmill inventor is burning in hell, and forced to run forever on a skinny, short, no-cushioned deck, sticky belt treadmill. (Oh wait, that's all treadmills.)

  4. These thoughts were probably doing more damage in your head than you realize because they are attached to bullets (... assuming you transcribed them accurately above).

    Good thing you got them out in time!

    Thoughts kill, people!

    O, when will we ever learn?

  5. Those are great! I particularly loved...all of them.

    I agree that National Running Day is pointless and so I DID NOT run yesterday. It was my way of "sticking it to the man." Or, I was just really lazy. One of the two.

  6. I've thought the exact same thing about the heart rate monitor! I can take my pulse on my wrist, the watch goes around my wrist, the watch has the touch technology already built in, WHY DO I HAVE TO WEAR THE CHEST STRAP?!

    Someone could make millions developing that technology.

  7. Awesome. See what happens when you get too much oxygen to the brain. 'Tis dangerous. :)

  8. LOL, totally agree about the treadmill.

  9. Hey! There is no running on the pier.

  10. Well, this just blows my plans to bring back my classic Randumbery series tomorrow. Seriously. I'll seem like a copycat. Do you want me to tell you want kind of post I'll do instead now so you put one just like it out tonight?

  11. Randumery - Nitmos
    Bullet Points - Me
    Making references to annoying songs - Me

    Has it come to this?

  12. Nitmos, this brings me great joy. I was thinking of naming the post Randumbery or making a (snide) reference to F.M.S. when I wrote it. Now I wish I had.

  13. That's a lot of thoughts for one mile. You must be tuckered out.

  14. This happens to me every run... I start to think about the weirdest shit.

  15. I'm pretty sure treadmills were first conceived on the Jetsons so you just wished for either Hanna or Barbera to burn in hell. I don't think that's very nice of you.

    If you figure out those Iko Iko lyrics, let me know. I've wasted many a running mile trying to figure those suckers out.

  16. Before buying the Garmin I searched for a long time to find a heart rate monitor for my wife that didn't require a chest strap. I had no success, and after checking with a couple of companies that make these devices the answer that always came back was that the signal on the wrist is not strong enough. I also wondered why manufacturers didn't invent something like a two glove thingy since treadmills seem to grab the heart rate from the runner's hands. Anyway, the chest strap, as it turns out, is not that much of an encumberance as I thought it would be.

  17. Oh yeah, I just remembered that there are watches on the market that don't use chest straps, but in order to get a reading you have to press and hold a button on the watch itself for a few seconds each time that you want to know where your heart is at. That also seemed dumb...

  18. Will you be changing your blogger name to Jack Handy, now, Mr. "Deep Thoughts"?

  19. too bad you can't use the word oxymoron in a way such that it would be an oxymoron.

  20. The aliens:

    It's because all aliens are gay and you rarely see fat homos. Why gay? Two words: anal probe.

    And, that's what I have to say about that.

  21. I'm afraid I am going to have to disagree with the Road ID ad at the top of your does NOT look good.

    Wait, now why was I here in the first place? Did you say something? I like cheese.

    That's about how my running thoughts go. You are clearly a more superior/advanced alien-probed being.

  22. I second the Garmin bit. Slackers.

    NRD--totally missed it (and I write a running blog), but think it's stupid.


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