Friday, May 29, 2009

We’re Going Streaking!

You remember that stupid post a couple of weeks ago where I said something about running every day for the month of June? Of course you do, because you all enjoy holding me to my stupid ideas. Well, I’ve decided that I’m doing it. I need a change of pace from the FIRST plan that has worked so well for me (until recently) and what could be more different than switching from only running 3 days a week to running every day of every week. (If this doesn’t work I’m going to try not running at all.) Starting on Monday I’m going streaking, streaking through June and you’re all invited to join me, after all, misery loves company.

I’ll be using the same rules that the US Running Streak Association uses per the recommendation of Ace, whose blog you should NOT check out because it will reveal that he has run every day for over 500 days now and that will totally dwarf your opinion of my pathetic attempt at 30 days. Basically the rules state that you have to run one continuous mile every calendar day under your own power. Treadmill miles are acceptable but undesirable.

So that’s it. I’m doing it. No excuses, no breaks, no exceptions*. I’m going to run every day period. In fact that will be the name of the challenge, Run Every Day Period or RED Period for short... uhhh... no... wait... that doesn’t sound like an every-day-of-the-month thing. (Please don’t ever let that be an every-day-of-the-month-thing!) Since I’ll be running for thirty straight days, we could call it the Straight Thirty Days Test or the STD Tes... huh, maybe not. How about Streakfest? Or 30 days of Suck? Or Streakapalooza ‘09? Or Vanilla Is A Guy Running Around? Or Injury Watch ’09? Or not-as-big-a-deal-as-I’m-making-it-attention-grabbing-stunt? Your votes and suggestions in the comments.

Runner (me) will not be required to run a mile in calendar days when he gets less than 4 hours of sleep during the previous night or when the average number of sleep hours for the past 3 days is less than 6 hours of sleep per night (but not to exceed 10 hours) after adjusting the data to remove the outlying high and low numbers. Additionally, the runner will not be required to run a mile when the number of hours worked in a day exceeds the number of hours slept during the previous night or when the runner simply does not feel like running. Finally, any miles run in excess of the minimum 1 mile/day may be carried over and applied to the following days. OK FINE. I’m just joking about the exceptions, there are no exceptions.

I’m going to call out Turi and Audrey here because they mentioned that they might do it too and this will help pressure them into it.

Have a good weekend and be sure to come back Monday for Candis’ race report which is sure to include plenty of gloating.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Suckage Report

First of all, huge props to Candis for crushing her previous PR by over 6 minutes with a time of 58:52 and easily achieving her goal of a sub 60 minute 10K. She rocked it. When I realized that I wasn’t going to make my goal I started rejoicing vicariously for Candis’ PR because I knew that she was going to get it. I was more confident going into this race that Candis would PR than I was that I would PR. This is why I decided that the winner of our bet should have to sleep with the loser, because then I win even if I lose, which I did. The agreed upon time deduction that Candis received was 10 minutes, which means that Candis beat me by nearly 5 full minutes. I’m so proud of her, but that’s really quite enough happiness for this post.

We awoke on race morning to cloudy, overcast skies, temperatures in the low 50s and a 92% chance of suckage. It was perfect racing weather which is unfortunate because there’s one more excuse that I can’t use for my suckitude. Candis and I got split up when I went to the pre-race bag check and she had to go drop a pre-race deucer. (I mention this because I imagine that telling you about her bowel movements takes some of the bloom off the rose of her awesome race and when I’m down I like to drag as many others down with me as possible.) We never found each other before the start of the race and Candis ended up going out in the wave ahead of me.

My pacing strategy was to attempt 8 minute miles the entire way allowing myself to lose some time on the uphill miles and hoping to gain some time back on the downhill sections of the course. When I turned in an 8:10 first mile and felt winded I knew that I might be in trouble. My mile 2 split came in at 8:28 but it was one of the tougher miles on the course and I was still hoping to make up time on the downhill sections of miles 4 and 5. With that in mind I tried to save some energy on mile 3 and posted an 8:48 mile.

I started the 4th mile with a bang, charging down 19th street with steely resolve. I was going to make up the minute and 26 seconds that I was behind, or at the very least get back onto pace to set a new PR. I could not be stopped, I floated down the downhill sections like a gazelle and I attacked the uphill sections like a crazy man. Like Forrest Gump, I. Was. Running. As I dashed up Casey Hill (the highest point of the course) I crossed the 4 mile mark and checked my Garmin for my split: 8:44. 8:44? Are you freaking kidding me? That was at least a 7:25 mile! It certainly felt like a 7:25 mile. I cursed my Garmin and had I not been so exhausted I would have probably chucked it into the side of a building but that sounded like too much effort.

I kept an even effort for the 5th mile and posted another 8:44 mile. A few quick calculations brought the realization that not only was I not going to make my goal, but I wasn’t even going to PR. OK, so there was nothing quick about my calculations, the math probably took me 2 minutes. I began to think about Candis, who I had passed somewhere in the 2nd mile. I thought about waiting for her and pacing her to the finish, but really that would have just been an excuse to stop and rest. I hoped and hoped that she would get her sub 60 minute time so that she wouldn’t have to run the final mile the way I was running it. I decided not to kill myself on the final mile and I’m OK with that decision. I rounded out my race with a half-fast 9:03 mile and a final time of 53:50. Disappointing to say the least. I drowned my sorrows in free Michelob Ultra before heading to a Memorial Day BBQ where I continued drowning them in... well to be honest I don’t remember all the specifics of how I drowned them, I just know that I did. It turned out to be a good day anyway.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Running Sucks!

I hate running. I didn’t even PR at the Bolder Boulder today, but Candis totally rocked it. More tomorrow, but probably not until the afternoon as I’m going to watch my son’s Field Day in the morning. Hopefully he takes after Candis’ performance and not mine.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Don’t Drink and Run

With Memorial Day weekend already upon us many folks will be reminding you not to drink and drive as you celebrate your 3 day release from work. That’s solid advice, but I don’t think it goes far enough. I’m reminding you not to drink and run this holiday weekend, at least not in that order. As with drinking and driving, drinking and running is only safe when performed in the reverse order: Run first, then drink. The video clip that follows is Adam Savage of Mythbusters demonstrating what happens when you get drunk and then run on a treadmill.

I love Mythbusters. Where else on TV are you going to see a clip of a drunk guy running on a treadmill filmed with a high speed camera? I’m not sure if this clip has been aired on the show yet but this version of it includes Adam’s commentary of what he was thinking each step of the way.

Have a great Memorial Day everyone, I’ll catch you all on the flip side with a race report from the Bolder Boulder. I’d post my bib number for those of you who can’t wait until Tuesday to learn how I did but I don’t remember it so you’ll just have to look me up by name. I’m assuming that you’ve already figured out my real name, what with those creepy, stalker tendencies that you display. Don’t make me get a restraining order, you sicko.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Race Goals and Pipe Dreams

As you already know, Candis and I will be running the Bolder Boulder on Monday. If you too will be celebrating Memorial Day by cursing at your alarm clock and then running 10,000 meters feel free to stop by and say hello to us after the race. Unless of course, you’re rising early and running 10,000 meters somewhere that’s not in Boulder, CO, then don’t bother stopping by to say hello because that’s just going to waste your Memorial Day. We’ll be in the lower half of section 108 drinking beer at 8:30 in the morning (now I remember why I like running so much). Just look around until you see a couple that looks like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie because if there’s a couple there that looks like that, there’s a pretty good chance we’ll be sitting behind them, staring. Or just look for us, that might be easier. I’d tell you what we’ll be wearing but do you really think we plan what we’re wearing that far in advance? OK you’re right, we totally do. I’ll be wearing a black and grey CU shirt and Candis will either be wearing a pink shirt or her Kiss My Asthma shirt. Also, don’t be fooled by amateur imitators who are only running 5,000 meters on Memorial Day. Get that weaksauce outta’ here!

I’ve already stated my goal is to run a sub 50 minute 10K but Candis’ goal of a sub 60 minute 10K has remained a secret up until roughly 3 seconds ago when I JUST SAID IT! Maybe 8 seconds ago for some of you slower readers. I also mentioned earlier this week (Bolder Boulder Week!) that there would be an advanced handicapping system that would allow Candis to compete against me. Originally I thought we could take the first place men’s and women’s finish times from last year and use the difference as a deduction from Candis’ time but it turns out that I thought that without really thinking much and the difference is obviously not big enough to make us even. (It’s only 3 to 4 minutes.) Since our goal times are exactly 10 minutes apart I’m going to attempt to finish 10 minutes ahead of Candis (hey, just like in the bedroom!) and she’s going to try to finish less than 10 minutes behind me. See, I told you it was an advanced handicapping system, well it was advanced for you 8 second people. Basically it will come down to who beats their goal by the most, or maybe, who misses their goal by the least. Loser has to have sex with the winner. (I just threw that in there to see if Candis was paying attention.)

I ran some intervals last night to see how my g-g-groin injury responded to speed and there was virtually no pain at all. It was a little tender this morning so I’m just going to make sure and rest for a couple of days before the race. I’m pretty sure it won’t be a problem on race day but if you think for one second that I won’t use it as an excuse come Tuesday morning then you’ve seriously misunderestimated me. Although... it wouldn’t hurt to have a back-up excuse at the ready since I’ve kind of confessed that the g-g-groin injury shouldn’t be a problem. Hmmm, maybe I could use one of these excuses... or maybe I’ll eat some spicy Mexican food the night before the race.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

G-g-groin Injury

About a week ago I pulled my groin and it felt so good I’ve been doing it everyday since! Hi-yo! No seriously, somehow I strained my groin muscle last week but I’ve been fortunate in that it hasn’t really hampered me too much. However, last night while I was playing rec league softball I managed to reinjure it. I’m going to do a couple more easy runs this week leading up to the Bolder Boulder and hope that I’m shipshape by Monday. Some of you may be thinking that it is extremely unfortunate that I injured myself the week before a race but then you people aren’t paying attention to my M.O. Now I have the perfect excuse for failing to meet my race goal. I mentioned yesterday that you should be on the look out for some good excuses this week but I had no idea that I would find one so quickly.

Actually I don’t think the injury is going to slow me down at all as I seem to be OK running on it. So why bring it up? Well, it was a good excuse to post this video of Sam Malone (Cheers) rapping about a g-g-groin injury. I cannot hear the words ‘groin injury’ without thinking of it.


Sam Malone - I On Sports

Monday, May 18, 2009

It’s Bolder Boulder Week

That’s right running fans the Bolder Boulder 10K is held every Memorial Day and I’m proclaiming this week Bolder Boulder Week here at Half-Fast. The Bolder Boulder was the first race I ever ran and has become the annual yardstick against which I measure my running progress. Things you can expect to see here at Half-Fast during Bolder Boulder Week include: an in depth discussion of my race goals, some preliminary excuses that I can circle back to if I fail, posts that yo-yo back and forth between boastful arrogance and hopeless defeatism, Candis’ race goals and an advanced handicapping system that will allow her to compete against me, a complex pacing strategy that I will abandon within the first mile of the race, my post race meet-up location so that you can ask me to sign your race bib, delusions of grandeur. It’s going to be a busy week.

In past years I have never doubted my ability to PR in this race because every year my training runs preceding the race have been significantly faster than they were the prior year. This year my training paces have been pretty inconsistent and at best could only be considered marginally faster than they were last year. At worst they could even be considered slower.

In this post in February I stated that one of my goals this year was to run a sub 50 minute 10K which would require an 8 minute mile pace. Two weeks ago I ran 4 straight tempo miles at a 7:56 pace which was very encouraging but then last week I ran some 1 mile intervals where the goal pace was 7:40/mile and they went like this: 8:08, 8:12, 8:22. Very discouraging, not to mention disastrously inconsistent.

As I was pouring over my training log and contemplating what these inconsistent results meant Candis sent me a link to an article on Runner’s World. Not being much of a reader, I skimmed through it until I saw a nice looking chart that just happened to contain the secret to my success for achieving a sub 50 minute 10K. It basically says that if you lose 10lbs you will unequivocally shave 2 minutes and 4 seconds from your 10K time. My 10K time? 52:07. So really after I drop 10lbs this week all I need to do is be 4 seconds faster than I was last year, and even I can do that, right? Right? Plus, think how healthy I’ll be after losing 10lbs in one week. Win-win my friends, win-win.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Jessica Biel is Running... oh, and so is Timberlake

I was going to try and wait a while before doing another celebrity running post because I know some of you come here for serious running talk not salacious gossip but I couldn’t resist the opportunity to post pictures of Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake running together. Biel is currently holding down one of the top spots on my ‘list of 5 celebrities’ and as for Timberlake, well, he’s the first alternate. *swoon*

Anyway, here they are running at Chelsea Pier a couple of days ago, and I have no idea where Chelsea Pier is but it seems like it should be warmer there this time of year.

Is Timberlake wearing a hat with his own initials on it? Who does he think he is Tiger Woods?
They appear to be moving pretty quickly because they get further and further from the guy in the white shirt behind them and you know that he was trying to stay close to her behind. Or maybe I’ve got the pictures backwards and the guy in the white shirt is catching up to them, yeah, let’s go with that.

There were a lot more pictures of them running together but I’m not going to post them all because there very similar to these pictures (i.e. not revealing enough). Instead, how about I post some pictures of Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake looking sexy and wearing less? See, when couples run together there’s something for everyone here at Half-Fast, well, everyone but the people who are into cross dressers, but that’s such a small demographic.

Check out that Paparazzi guy behind them being obnoxious and taking pictures. Talk about an annoying way to have to run everyday. Hey buddy, quit being a jerk and leave them alone! And also hurry up and publish your pictures to the web so I can find some pictures from that angle. Yes, I’m aware that I am both promoting what the Paparazzi do and being righteously indignant about their invading people’s privacy in the same post. It’s called ‘having my cake and eating it too’ and it’s a wonderful way to live. Now if you don’t mind, I’ve got to go harass some other bloggers for objectifying women... just as soon as I upload a few more of these bikini pictures - now who’s bringing sexy back, huh?

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Fat Guy in a Little Cart

My legs have been feeling a little tight lately, so when it came time to do my long run on Saturday afternoon I decided to take it easy and run at a much more leisurely pace than usual. It was a pleasant and enjoyable run until it went south. I’m speaking metaphorically here because I was actually running north when things went metaphorically south.

I turned north onto a street that runs past the golf course and was wishing that I was playing golf because regardless of how pleasant a run is it still doesn’t compare to the joy of cursing your way around a golf course for 4 hours. As I ran down the sidewalk a golf cart pulled up next to me on the adjacent cart path, separated only by small strip of perfectly mowed grass. At first I thought nothing of it, but then I began to wonder why the cart was keeping pace with me. I glanced over to see two fat guys grinning at me from their ride.

Now when I say that these guys were fat I’m not just trying to be offensive towards them (although if it comes across like that I’m totally OK with it), they were absolutely huge. The golf cart could barely contain them. Their legs were oozing out from under the armrests, performing an intense stress test on the tensile strength of their plaid golfer’s shorts. The guy that was (mostly) in the passenger seat was so big that he had fat rolls on the back of his head above his nonexistent neck and I can only assume that his polo shirt had been custom made by Omar’s Tent and Awning Company. OK, so maybe I’m trying to be a little offensive, but they totally started it.

As I glanced over at them the passenger began swinging his arms like he was running and hung his tongue out in what I assume was mock exhaustion. At first I was quite taken aback that these two supersize human beings were mocking me for running, but I quickly regained my composure and yelled “Hey, why don’t you come join me, you look like you could use the exercise!” Not a great comeback admittedly but I was still a little gobsmacked at the preposterousness of the situation.

The passenger’s expression went from laughing to angry and he shouted something at me that I was not able to hear over whatever P!nk was angrily yelling through my earbuds, but I assume it was something like “Get in mah BELLY!” Not wanting to give him the last word I yelled at him again, “Why don’t you show some mercy to that poor golf cart and walk a few holes!” Much better comeback. At this point the golf cart path veered away from the sidewalk and we went our separate ways. The funny thing is that we probably both referred to our Saturday afternoon activity as ‘exercise,’ but only one of us was correct with that description, and as usual that one was me.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mother’s Day!

How much do I love my Mom? Enough to write a special Mother’s Day post! Happy Mother’s day to all of you mothers out there. I hope that your family is leaving you in peace so that you can read Half-Fast, I know that’s probably how you wanted to spend your day. Also happy Mother’s Day to my wife, who told me that what she really wanted to do tonight was watch the Red Sox game. I’ll be making dinner which means that we’ll be having something that you can grill, probably steak with some lobster on the side.

It occurs to me this Mother’s Day that I never told the story of my Mom’s parting advice right before I left to run the marathon in Arizona. I won’t bore you with the entire counsel but it boiled down to something like this; you have a family to think of now, and people die all the time running marathons, and you’re responsible for a family, and if you aren’t feeling good at some point during the marathon then it’s best to just quit, because people die all the time at marathons, and you shouldn’t take any chances, and did I mention that you could die so be careful and quit early. Worst marathon advice ever? Worst marathon advice ever. Thanks Mom! I love you. (This will be a good test of whether my Mom is still reading my blog.)

The following video is exactly how I imagine my boys taking a Mother’s Day picture when they are old enough to have a place of their own. When will that be? It can’t come soon enough.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Run Every Day?

I had this crazy idea on the way in to work today that maybe I should run every day for a month. Then in the spirit of crazy ideas I decided to write up a quick post about it and put it out there for everyone to read before I really thought it through. So here it is; I’m thinking about committing to running every day for the month of June. What do you think? Good idea? Stupid idea? Stupid idea but go ahead and do it anyway?

I know that several of you fellow bloggers out there have done this in the past and I thought it would be a good opportunity mix things up a little. Now June isn’t really the best month for me to be trying this (that would’ve been February- only 28 days!) because in the month of June there seem to be a lot of things that could get in the way of me running; our anniversary, a huge family reunion, Father’s day, apathy, and hotter weather just to name a few. But, that’s part of what makes it a challenge. If it were easy, then everyone would do it.

So what say ye? Should I attempt to run every day in June? And before you answer in the affirmative you should ask yourself if you’re prepared to read a whole slew of posts next month that feature me pissing and moaning about how hard it was to find the time to run and how stupid an idea this was, as I suspect it probably is. This isn’t just a commitment on my part, you’ll be committing to putting up with me as I go through with this or you’ll have to deal with me sulking around like Jay Cutler in the event that I fail. Are you ready for that? If so, what should the rules be? How long does a run need to be to qualify? How should I reward myself if I’m successful? I eagerly await your noble suggestions.

In the meantime I’m going to be perfecting some of the Parkour or Free Running moves in the video below. People who know what they’re talking about make a distinction between Parkour and Free Running, which is why I use them interchangeably.

[h/t With Leather]

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Go Away! Want Sleepy!

This morning I would like to tell you all about the importance of a good night’s sleep: It is very important to get a good night’s sleep. How important? Well let’s consult the crudely made sleep vs. probability of running graph that I just concocted in MS Paint and find out.

Fascinating stuff huh? On Monday night I managed to get roughly 4½ hours of sleep. Naturally, when I got home from work on Tuesday I was exhausted and knew from my handy dandy probability graph that there was only a 20% chance of me actually running. As it turns out, I didn’t run on Tuesday. It seems that there have been a lot of late nights over the past few weeks due to some extracurricular activity (which makes it sound way more intriguing than it is) and that has really affected my running. If I’m tired when I get home from work there’s little chance of me running and when I do get myself out the door my pace usually suffers. I guess there is something to be said for making sure you get enough sleep.

Recently, some of you have noted that I used to be a morning runner and have asked why I’m not one anymore. The answer is pretty simple. Back in the days when I was enjoying morning running (or more accurately enjoying not having to run after work) I didn’t have to be in the office until 8 or 8:30. Plenty of time to get in a run. Lately I’ve been getting to the office a lot earlier (so much for banker’s hours) and I frequently work from an office that is much farther from my house which means that if I wanted to get in a short run at my lumbering pace I’d need to wake up somewhere around 4am and as I’m sure you’re all painfully aware there is no such thing as 4am. So essentially it’s not even physically possible for me to run in the mornings anymore.

Note: I’m sure that there are some of you out there that get up and run at 4am on a regular basis or who have to leave for work earlier than I do and you’re welcome to call me a sissy, pantywaist in the comments, you’ve earned it. Regardless, I won’t be getting up at 4am to run before work, that’s just not my style. What I will be doing is trying to get more sleep. This is going to require me to not watch so much TV in the evenings... hmmmm... that doesn’t sound like the answer. Maybe I should just start showing up later for work or taking more naps at my desk during the day. Yes, that sounds much more doable.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

It’s not too late, it’s never too late

I’ve been getting quite a few e-mails lately asking me if it’s too late to enter the 2009 Shave Your 5K Challenge and as you might have guessed from the title of this post it’s not too late, it’s never too late. I was going to respond to all your e-mails individually but frankly that sounded like a lot of effort, so instead I’m writing this post to answer your questions which has the added benefit that I don’t have to come up with a real post for today.

Here is a list of the most common inquiries that I’ve been receiving, or frequently asked questions if you will:

Q. Is it too late to enter the SY5K?
No. There are no time restraints for your running your Stubble Time or your Smooth Time this year. The only requirement is that you complete them both by January 1st, 2010.

Q. Isn’t that a time restraint?
Shut up.

Q. If I submitted a Smooth Time to you last year and I want to use that for this year’s Stubble time do I need to e-mail you to tell you that?
No. If you ran a Smooth Time last year and sent it to me you are automatically entered in this year’s SY5K, whether you want to be or not.

Q. If I didn’t run Smooth Time last year can I use last year’s Stubble Time as my Stubble time for this year?
No. That would give you 2 years to shave your time which is not the point.

Q. I ran a 5K with a friend at their pace, can I use this time as my Stubble Time?
No. You’re missing the point again, we’re not trying to determine who the biggest sandbagger is, we’re trying to see who can legitimately improve the most.

Q. I haven’t run a 5K yet, can I use my 5K split from my marathon as my Stubble Time?
No. I highly doubt that you ran the first 5K of your marathon the same way you’d run a 5K race, but if you did I would have loved to watch you from miles 20 through the finish.

Q. It seems from this here list of FAQs that your answer is always no, is that true?
No. If you look closely you’ll see that one of my answers was “Shut up.”

At some point I’ll tally up all the results that I’ve received thus far and get a list of entrants posted. In the meantime, if you have any questions that have not been answered above then please feel free to e-mail them to me. Then when my inbox is sufficiently backlogged with SY5K questions I’ll do another post just like this.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Weekend Splits

Weekend Splits is my recap of things that I found interesting or humorous over the past week. If you have a submission for the weekend splits, e-mail me.

The above picture comes from Cake Wrecks, which is a totally awesome blog featuring cakes that are wrecks, which is why they named it Cake Wrecks I guess. Anyway, you should really go check it out because Jen is immensely funny and if I send enough traffic her way and continue with the effusive flattery then maybe she won’t send me an angry e-mail telling me not to steal her images. I don’t know if the recipient of the cake ran 60 miles or did something else for 60 miles, but I’m assuming that it was running because that makes it relevant to my blog. On to this week’s links.
  • Hella Sound Running Music. First Nitmos pimped it, and then Cranky Fitness did too which makes me (fashionably?) late to the party or as I like to call it, Half-Fast. Hella Sound produces running music that is synced to your stride rate to help you run better. You should check it out because your running playlist badly needs an update. Don’t be thrown off by the fact that Nitmos likes it, I’m sure it’s still good anyway, and if you decide to purchase then F.M.S. and Cranky Fitness both have discount codes you can use.
  • EverymanTri points out the irony of a triathlete magazine that features a sexy cover model asking if triathletes are obsessed about body image. Oh yeah, it was their “swimsuit issue” too.
  • Lance has the definitive word on locker room etiquette at the gym. Still no word on whether it’s OK for me to ask for opinions on this rash that I can’t quite see, but perhaps he’s saving that for another post.

Comments of the Week
Viper on the Non Runners are Stupid post: “You’re an idiot. You’re right. That is fun.” That made me laugh for some reason. Honorable mention this week to Glaven for the whole “glad to hear of something in the financial services sector that is still paying dividends” comment. As per usual Glaven took a while to get there but (for once) it was worth it when he did.

Speaking of comments I got a whopping 8 comments in 24 hours on the Bay to Breakers post, but I start insulting people and calling non runners stupid and I get 25 comments in the first 3 hours and almost 50 total as of this writing. I see why you guys come here: You get off on calling people idiots. You and I are going to get along just fine.

Random Non-Running Related Video of the Week
Look, it’s a hamster in a wok! It’s priceless. Just look at his little legs go. Hey who wants some of this delicious stir-fry I just made? Bueller? Bueller?

Have a great weekend everyone!

Friday, May 1, 2009

Get on Your Side!

Last night I was out running when I experienced a relatively minor inconvenience that I’m going to overreact to this morning because it will make this a much better blog post. At least I’m being honest about it.

Before I get to the major annoyance caused by two inconsiderate idiots (inconsidiots?), allow me to lay the groundwork for the story. When I run I don’t stick to the right side of the path. In fact, I don’t stick to any side of the path, I run the tangents just the same way I would during a race. So if there’s a big left turn ahead, I’m taking the straightest line to get me around the turn on the inside lane. Now I realize that since I run with a Garmin this is a somewhat pointless exercise on my part because if I arrive home and I’ve successfully cut my 6 mile loop down to 5.9 miles I continue running past my house until I reach the desired 6 miles. However, it just seems pointless to run on the outside of a long sweeping curve, my laziness and minimal-effort attitude won’t allow me to do it. Plus, it’s good practice for races when you absolutely should run the tangents so that you don’t end up running a 6.4 mile 10K.

So last night I was out doing a tempo run and you can probably see where this is headed. The path that I regularly run on has a long curve that lasts for almost a quarter mile. On the way back to my house the curve is to the left so I was naturally running on the left side (the inside lane) of the path. Up ahead of me on the path was an older couple out for a leisurely walk. They were heading towards me, walking to their left (the outside lane). Essentially we were both on what would be considered the wrong side of the road or the Xenia side of the road. (Interesting that you can replace the word wrong with the word Xenia, no?) ‘No problem,’ I thought, ‘we’ll all just stay on the side we’re on and we’ll make it through this without any collisions.’ Boy, was I wrong. The couple didn’t notice me coming until we were within 20 feet of each other (poor eye sight?) at which point they scurried (yes, scurried like the rodents they are) over to the inside lane. They did this as I was looking down at my watch, as I tend to do every 30 seconds, and when I looked up I was shocked to find them huddling to the inside part of the turn to give me as much room as possible on the outside. Fortunately I have cat-like reflexes and I managed to avoid bowling these two inconsidiots over. (Inconsidiots FTW! *High Five!*)

As I said above it really wasn’t that much of an annoyance, but I did find it weird. Is there a right and wrong side of the path? Do you always run on the right (or the left if you’re in England)? Speaking of Xenia and England, I really need a favor from everyone who reads this blog. Go over to her post today, find the poll at the bottom of it and vote for anyone but her. We’ll call it revenge for the Photoshop hatchet job she did on me earlier in the week.