Friday, April 10, 2009


[by Candis, who is sick of looking at the picture in the post below]

Yoga on a beach? Does life get any better?

It’s everywhere. It’s great for you and you spend half your time curled up like a child. No, I’m not talking about Thanksgiving with your in-laws I’m talking about yoga. We don’t take yoga classes as runners because we are above that. We are better. We pound the pavement faster by the month. People gawk at us as they drive by with their Baconator in hand. “Wow, look at her go.” [Ed Note: or him!]

But the press is everywhere. Yoga, like Wal-Mart is taking over and once you try both you’ll be more flexible, stronger, and have more money in your pocket- not to mention a lifetime supply of Smiley-O cereal for your carb loading needs.

It takes different lengths for us to give in and take a yoga class. For me it took a large word that I still cannot pronounce. Plantar Fasciitis, which looks way too much like fascist- coincidence? My left arch and calf are attacking my heel. It’s like little rubber bands snapping through my heel. The solution... stretches. Crap! I was hoping it was surgery or expensive orthotics- anything but stretching!

I’ve been intrigued by yoga for a few years but feared it was too new age. Fortunately I’m not good enough for the class where you teach your body to harness high powers- Ya right. Other than a few mentions of “sending your breath to muscles that won’t stretch” and something about my light that I missed, it was just plain relaxing. Like a massage that makes you strong and flexible. (I should mention that I took a class recently from a woman who I think was used to teaching a fast step class- her tempo was not helpful or relaxing.)

I should also mention that yoga is not only for gumbi women or only for women for that matter. [Ed Note: Nice try, but I’m not falling for it that easily.] I have taken classes with generously portioned women and biker dudes (like Harley not like Lance) and with muscle guys whose muscles quiver as they beg them to bend. There is no ogling because you have to look cool to hit on someone. It’s really just about you. It’s not about chocolate milks, laundry, meetings or a declining economy.

I do have one requirement for you. It’s just my personal requirement as most people would allow you to go on your merry way now. Buy your own mat. Seriously. I forbid you to borrow a generously offered class mat off of the mountain of sweat and germs. My feet sweat like nobody’s business and after seeing some of the others in the class, I do not want their mat next time. Now that I’ve grossed you out, shell out the $20 and get over yourself. It’s soooo good.


  1. Teh 'Bride takes a yoga class every Sunday morning then leaves during the 5-minute cool-down time at the end, which is when the instructor gets all new-agey. Teh 'B. calmly rolls up her mat, puts on her shoes and leaves while the calm, centered instructor gives her this look like, "Hey! I'm still New-Aginating over here! Get your @$$ back down on that mat!"

    Hahahahahaha! Way to send positive energy out into the Universe, Yoga Chick!

  2. I'm giving you 24 hours notice before revoking your man card.

  3. I like the idea of stretching, and improving flexibility.

    But I can do without the insence, and the gong and breathing through your eyelids.

  4. Oh dear, never thought about that, glad a read this before deciding to join the new session of yoga!

  5. I do yoga every Monday and its awesome, except for when our teacher makes us work hard and do 'boat' for about 45min, then it sucks!!!

  6. I agree with Mike. No man card for you. I can't stand yoga! It is just too dang slow. Hey - maybe we could sign up for ballet together?!

  7. Uhhh, are you guys revoking my man card for allowing my wife to post on my blog or are you revoking my wife's man card? Because I'm totally OK with it if it's the last one.

  8. I don't take yoga classes because they are too damned expensive. I enjoyed the free one I took. I always like free ones.

    I would have thought the Terminated Ian photo would be a vast improvement. I guess there's no accounting for taste, to Ian's good fortune I suppose.

  9. I find Yoga harder when I'm running a lot because of tight hips, sore quads, tight hammies..all that good jazz. Add in the heat, and you've got yourself a party.

    Most lululemon's have a complimentary yoga class every Sunday morning...not sure if you have one around you though!

  10. OH NO!!!! I just now saw that Candis did your Ohmmmmm post. OK. Fair is fair. You can keep your man card and signing up for ballet with her wouldn't be as weird. Too funny!!!


  11. Vanilla should do yoga. It suits him.

  12. Baconator??? Huh? What am I missing?


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