You know what really annoys me? If you’re thinking “the wind” then you’re right but it’s not the topic of this post. You may also be thinking “Subway commercials” or “Viper” or “the lady with 45 items in the self-scan lane at the grocery store” and those are all good guesses but perhaps you should stop with the incessant guessing and let me tell you what it is before I add “incessant guessing” to the list. The thing that is chafing the figurative nether regions of my character today is barbequing. “But that’s un-American!” you exclaim. “Stop interrupting, and let me explain,” I reply.
What’s really annoying about BBQing (not be confused with BQing) is that I can’t go 400 meters on an evening run lately without smelling something delicious being grilled. Since the weather has improved and the days are longer it seems that every house along the path that I run has decided to torment me by BBQing hamburgers, hot dogs, steaks and all manners of delectable charred meat products. It makes me envious. I don’t want to be running, I want to be eating delectable charred meat products. You’re probably thinking “why don’t you just grill something when you get home from your run?” And that’s a good question but the problem is that Candis usually has dinner ready when I get home from my run, so unless I’ve requested that we BBQ before I run, it’s too late. Talk about annoying, right? You guys can’t even imagine what I have to put up with.
One of these days I’m just going to snap and jump someone’s fence, unlid their Weber, and make off with a handful of burgers and brats. I’ve already scoped out several houses with low, hurdleable fences and BBQs that aren’t located near windows. I’ll be sure to let you know how it goes, or I’ll stop posting all together because I doubt they let you update your blog from the hoosegow. You might be thinking “but greasy burgers are probably not good fuel for your runs, won’t you upset your stomach?” “Good point,” I reply while adding “interrupting” to my list of annoying things.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Just Stop Already!
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22 half-fast comments:
Run with BBQ tongs. That way, you won't burn your hands.
For once, I agree. I mean, even vegetables smell good on the grill. WT-thefuck-F?
Dammit, I guessed Viper. I hate being wrong.
if people can run pushing a stroller full of kids, why can't you run pushing the grill and preparing some dinner?
I HAVE to know where you got that picture!
People in my 'hood are constantly running pushing a grill. Too bad they are stealing it.
That said, I have never understood BBQ weather. I have grown up where the grill is used 365 days a year...of course I don't live in MI, but in MD, in the snow, in the rain, in the hail, in the heat, etc.
That is a gas grill...we just use the charcoal in the rain, snow and heat. Hail might dent HIS PRECIOUS.
Barbecuing irks me for a completely different reason, which is that our neighbors in the apt. below us BBQ on their balcony, and all the smoke blows into our windows. It doesn't smell good. It smells like the building is on fire.
I almost spit Diet Dr. Pepper all over the computer when I read about having to put up with Candis having your dinner ready.
The first time I ate dinner with my Aunt and Uncle as an adult, my uncle complained to me that my aunt always served her homemade meals to him too hot. Then he looked over at me knowingly like I might have similar problems. WTF!
other people are so annoying, this has got to be the funniest tag I've ever seeen!!
Well, you know the BBQers are just on a subversive mission to slow you down =)
Is leaving your wife to cook your meals while you run a transparent effort to get your man card back?
Huh, here I thought fartlek was Swedish for "speed play." Apparently, it's Swedish for "stealing food off peoples' BBQs and accelerating away."
I think you need to experiment with charred meat products as performance fuel. Just tell your neighbors that "it's for science" when you bogart their steaks.
Of course there's a weiner graphic or reference. I was worried for a second, but I knew you wouldn't let us down.
Another fun running smell... bakery bread. There were four bakeries within a 2 mile radius of my old place... that was just brutal.
Nice weiner.
Ohh man I feel your pain. This is even worse than my gym permanently putting the food network on the tvs on the treadmill....
Know what else is annoying, a running man bitching about BBQ when his wifey has dinner READY for him when he comes in the door......
I'm just saying.......BTW, I hate the garbage truck that drives by and the upchucked backwind kicks you in the face.
Here in FL, people BBQ year-round, so I guess I'm immune to the tempting odors.
Annoying = Fat-fingering the publish button and thereby commenting twice, like an idiot.
Annoying = Fat-fingering the publish button and thereby commenting twice, like a genius.
Annoying=
McDonalds, and their fascinating selection of 84 flavors of lard wafting across my path...sometimes I want to yak, other times...I know how Ulysses felt when he was tied to the main beam of his ship.
BBQ? Dude, runners have had to deal with this since the invention of fire and someone came up with the idea of stuffing a stick up an animal's butt.
I'd recommend running in the morning, but then you have to deal with "bacon" - delicious, delicious, sweet, smelling, tempting bacon.
Yet another reason to go running in the morning Vanilla: no BBQ smells. Wait, hand't you signed onto the morning bandwagon forever ago? What happened?
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