Here’s what the fine print said (emphasis mine):
Minimum opening deposit of $50 required to receive the gift. To be eligible for the award, you must open your new personal checking account between April 1, 2009 and May 22, 2009. The $42 award is considered interest and is subject to IRS and other tax reporting. The award will be given at account opening. The $42 award is considered a bonus that can be revoked if the account is closed within 6 months of opening.If you’ve been paying attention to what’s been going on with banks, and in particular AIG, lately then you can see where I’m going with this. If you’re not keeping up on your current events then you can stop reading right now, you mouth-breathing simpleton. The bank is threatening to revoke your bonus! They actually put that in writing. This couldn’t be more ironic if Alanis Morissette wrote a song about it. I also like how they’re clear about telling you that it is subject to tax reporting, kind of like how executive bonuses at banks are now subject to a 90% tax. It’s almost like they’re trying to stick it back to you for revoking their bonuses.
I can totally see all these big execs sitting in a conference room (I picture them like the stodgy old guys in that WaMu commercial) thinking up a promotion that gives the consumer a bonus just so they can threaten to revoke it. “It will be hilarious,” they’re saying in my mind. “Yes, yes. It will be even funnier than that one time when Mortimer put dimes in his penny loafers!” Chortle, guffaw.