Enter Athlinks. If you’re not familiar with Athlinks it is a wonderful resource. As far as I can tell Athlinks goes about gathering up as many online results as they can find for races (running, biking, triathlon etc.) and then they put them all into a searchable database. If you’re a member you can even track your friends and rivals. So I went to Athlinks and searched for this guy’s race results. Turns out we’ve run two of the same races, last year’s Bolder Boulder and last year’s Georgetown Half Marathon. Can you guess who won both of those races? (Hint: Do you think I’d be posting about it if I lost?) I beat him by 6 minutes in Boulder and 7+ in Georgetown. POW! Take that, coworker I barely know! Next time I see him I’m going to ask him about his race results. Then when he tells me I’ll be all condescending and sympathetic, I’ll tilt my head and be like “Aww, that’s OK. That’s still a good accomplishment, you should still be proud of those times,” because that’s also something I would totally do to let others know that I’m better than them.
So next time you run into someone who tells you that a long time ago they once ran a marathon in under 3 hours go to Athlinks and find out if they are lying. I use it all the time now, so don’t even bother trying to tell me that you ran a 19 minute 5K when I can clearly see that it was 19:14 you lying sack of crap.
Incidentally Athlinks is not paying me to write this but they should be, that’s the 3rd time I’ve linked to them in this post. Plus, I’ve come up with some cool new slogans that they can use:
Athlinks, the great new lie detector.
Athlinks, helping you put coworkers in their place since 2005.
Whichever one they choose it will certainly be better than their current one which is Compete. Connect. Ha! More like Lame. Boring. Am I right? It doesn’t even start with the name Athlinks (4th time!), it’s like they know nothing about branding. It doesn’t even convey that you can catch people in their lies! Madness.