Friday, January 9, 2009

Regular Posting Will Resume Shortly

This week has been crazy at work and I’m quite certain that you don’t care unless you’re my boss in which case thanks for making me sit on that conference call that did not apply to me in any way, shape or form. *Deep breaths* Anyway, I usually try to post my inane ramblings here 4 times a week, furthermore I’d like to get back into the habit of regularly posting the Weekend Splits and I think things will return to normal next week, or maybe the following week since I’m running a marathon next week. (Side note: AHHHHHHHH!)

So I don’t have much time to post anything of substance today but in the meantime you can read the following e-mail that I sent out to everyone who hasn’t submitted a Smooth Time for the SY5K Challenge. It may even apply to you. If you didn’t get this email, then I got your results or my e-mail went straight to your junk mail folder, I hear they have a tendency to do that when you repeatedly use the word ‘ass.’
Subject: Hey, Remember the Shave Your 5K Challenge?

Hello all,

You are receiving this e-mail because at some point in the last year you thought it would be a good idea to enter the Shave Your 5K Challenge at that oh-so-awesome blog Half-Fast and you have not sent me your Smooth Time. Maybe you posted the result on your blog assuming that I’d see it, but you know what they say about assuming. (It makes an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘ming,’ and ‘ming’ doesn’t care too much for your insolence.)

I originally set some parameters around when the Smooth Time had to occur but I’ve made so many exceptions that I’m no longer holding people to running their faster 5K in the Nov/Dec window. If you ran a 5K last year at some time after your original Stubble 5K then please feel free to send me that time and I’ll include you in the results which will be posted on Monday January 12th.

Perhaps your attempts at Shaving Your 5K all fell dreadfully short of your original time and so you have not submitted it to me, but I encourage you to reconsider. I already have several people who posted slower times in their later races and the sting of my mocking will be greatly reduced if there are more of you to mock. I’m
kidding of course... it will still sting just as bad.

Since the results will be announced on Monday, I will include any results that I receive before noon on Sunday, January 11th. That’s Mountain Time.
Some of you have already asked whether I’ll be doing this again next year and the answer is: Yes. I plan on making the 2009 SY5K Challenge a little simpler while throwing in a few new wrinkles. “But Vanilla,” you ask, “how can it be simpler and have more wrinkles?” Well I’ll save that for a later post when I’m not busy missing deadlines and ignoring clients.

Have a great weekend everyone.


  1. were we on the same conference call? I was on one like that this morning.. what in the world were they thinking! Ugh. Hope you have a great weekend and all the shave your 5kers finally come out of hiding

  2. Yeah, I kinda miss the weekend splits.

  3. man, that was a much cooler e-mail than the one I (someone who submitted her results ON TIME) got!!! No good deed....

    Of course the person who WINS the challenge will get an even better, even funnier e-mail. right? RIGHT??!?

  4. Now I am confused. I submitted my smooth time and did not receive an e-mail. I am hoping that means you got it and only emailed the slackers. I think I'll resend it just in case (is paranoid).

  5. Kitzzy- You're right, I only e-mailed the slackers, I did get your e-mail/results.

  6. Great! Thanks! I can't wait to see what you come up with for next year.

  7. If you don't have one of those McDonald's drive-thru headsets, you MUST get one. They make conference calls at least tolerable.

  8. I thought that's where Vanilla worked.

  9. Man, you managed to do this post, write that witty Spam to all the slackers AND still have the oommph to hit the 'publish comment' button multiple times despite the crunch time at your work? You obviously have a lot of energy. I think you should consider training for and running a marathon. If you ever do, be sure to blog and podcast about about it incessantly. Plus, get one of those old-timey airplanes with the propellors to pull a banner behind it announcing your decision to run a marathon. Be sure to explain what a marathon is, because few in the running blogosphere know. In 10,000 words or more (per post), discuss how training for this 'marathon' affected you and you family and how it ultimately led to peace in the Middle east.

    O, and thanks for telling me NOW that I could've submitted my good October smooth time instead of the crappy December one I submitted a month ago.

  10. YAY! I'm ready to shave in 2009 :)

  11. Work? WORK??? Where are your PRIORITIES Vanilla!!??? Fuggheddabowditt with the work stuff. (Hey, that sounded a little New York, but I'm a Boston girl. Hmmmm)....anyway...let your boss know you have a blog to post on, you cannot be hanging at stupid com calls. Geesh.

  12. I got no e-mail either way. I'm just assuming the means you got my time. Yup, there's that whole assuming thing again.

    Glad to year you'll be re-hosting in 2009! It was a great challenge and I had a lot of fun with it!


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