Friday, January 2, 2009

Get a Hold of Yourself Man!

Thanks for all the advice on my last post, particularly to Andrew who gave me the literary bitchslap I needed in reminding me to HDFU. I am still planning on running the full marathon, and I’m planning on beating Haile Gebrselassie’s world record time of 2:03:59, that was his first half split right?

When I originally signed up for the PF Chang’s Rock ‘n’ Roll Arizona Marathon I had wanted to run a 4 hour marathon or more specifically a 3:59:59 marathon. I believe that a sub 4 hour time might have been possible had I not been injured and wimped out on some of my training runs, but I find myself coming to grips with the fact that I probably won’t achieve that goal. That’s OK. I’ve always said that in order to achieve all of your lifelong goals sometimes you have to lower your expectations, but that’s just the over-achiever in me coming out. (The under-achiever in me is totally OK with failing to meet goals entirely, at least the over-achiever tries to make it look like I accomplished my goals.)

With that in mind I’m going to establish several levels of goals for this marathon, and hopefully I’ll be able to accomplish one of them. Here they are, ranked from most likely to occur to least likely to occur:

  1. Start the marathon.
  2. Finish the marathon.
  3. Finish the marathon in an upright position.
  4. Finish the marathon with a time under 4 hours 30 minutes.
  5. Finish the marathon with a time under 4 hours 15 minutes.
  6. Finish the marathon with a smile on my face.
  7. Finish the marathon with a time under 4 hours.
  8. Qualify for Boston - requires a time of 3:10:59 (my computer audibly chuckled when I wrote that).
  9. Set a new marathon world record - requires a time of 2:03:58 or better.
  10. Take it easy and enjoy myself.

I think I have a realistic shot at the first 4, maybe even number 5 if I’m having a really good day. If I accomplish number 7, then number 6 will just naturally follow suit, but I doubt that either of those will happen. Numbers 8 through 10 are just there for humor because none of them are going to happen.

Have a great weekend everyone! Stay tuned next week for the announcement of the Shave Your 5K winners.

Update: Oh yeah, and Happy New Year and all that jazz.


  1. My advice is to hold fast to numbers 1, 2, 3 and 6. Having a time goal on your first marathon will only be frustrating.

  2. If you don't accomplish number 9 I will be thoroughly disappointed. Haha just kidding, I hope you have a great race and lots of fun! Finishing with a smile on your face should be your number one goal!

  3. It seems that having a time goal ruins the enjoyment somewhat.

    I was hoping for sub 4 hours in my first one but seeing as you are faster (for now) than me I might have to rethink that as well.

    I always knew you liked slaps. ;)

  4. I agree with Jamoosh.

    When I trained for the Disney Marathon in Jan 2007, I had some problems similiar to yours. I got injured and missed a few long runs, and ended up going into the marathon having only completed an 18 miler as my furthest distance. But I was determined to see that thing through. On race day, I was super excited and positive about my time goals, and that whole bothersome notion of not having trained as much as is desirable melted away.

    But then I got to mile 18, and I was feeling miserable. Then at 20, I wanted to lay down in the grass and die. At 22, I cried some. At mile 24, I knew I could finish, even if I had to log roll across the finish line, but I was really hurting.

    In the end, when I did cross the finish line, all the pain and suffering on the course seemed worthwhile, but my time goal had completely gone out the window, and I was just happy to be done with the thing.

  5. O, geez. Just as I feared. I was hoping we could avoid this awkwardness, but here it is. The morning after post.

    Look, in your last post, you were obviously a little drunk and you said some things you obviously didn't mean, and then I posted some things that, frankly, I was so sh*t-faced when i wrote 'em that I don't even remember what they were; and now here we both are, wide-awake, hung over, and those big old matzah ball promises we made to each other are still hanging in the air, unresolved.

    I was hoping we could just ignore them, but thanks to this, your latest post, we obviously can't do that, anymore.

    Look, let's just let the dust settle, okay? I think we need a break. I'll call you in a couple weeks. After that, who knows.

    You good with that?

  6. Is there a Shave Your 5K 2009???? I didnt get to finish last year cuz of the whole baby thing...but already recorded the slowest possible time on a 5K for 2009 and know for sure I can beat the pants off it by the end of the year ;)

  7. What good are blogging friends if not to bitch slap you around from time to time.

    Running by yourself with nothing but you thoughts is WAY different than race day. You'll get swept up in the excitement and competitiveness of thousands of other racers.

    Don't beat yourself too much about time. Just run to finish and learn. You'll do great!

  8. 6 will definitely happen, don't worry :)

  9. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
    It's all about lessening the blow, or something.

  10. No chance of #10. So forget about THAT one.

  11. Glad you realized you were going to run this thing!

  12. #10 is the most important one. I'm so happy you know that!!!

  13. 3 and 10 and the ones to go for

  14. Some good goals right there! Accomplish every one of them! Haha. Most importantly, finish with a smile on your face!

  15. I love that video, love the lady with that gun.


    Good luck on your goals. You'll do it!

  16. I'm thinking you'll pull a 4:16:03.

    I'm not sure why I came up with that number, but it feels right in my voodoo magic marathon minds thing ya.

    Good luck man.

  17. I adore that phrase LITERARY B*TCHSLAP.
    may I appropriate as my own if I give you credit?

  18. MizFit, you may indeed as long as it's not me on the receiving end of the literary bitchslap. :)

  19. You're gonna do fine in the marathon, and by fine I mean finish. That should be your only goal for your first marathon- TO FINISH!!! Sounds like you're overtrained, but that's just my opinion. You're not going to get any more fit or faster between now and race day, so chill and rest!

  20. 1, 2, 3, 6 and the most important one... #10! I think every first attempt at a new distance should have only these goals attached to it. Of course, we are human... and goals like #8 are always somewhere in the back of our minds (or at least in the back of mine).

  21. Good goals. I've always wondered whether the fact that I cheerfully lower my goals in order to check 'em off as accomplished makes me a true underachiever or overachiever. It was nice to see you clarify this seeming contradiction.

  22. "2:03:59, that was his first half split right?"

    I had to subscribe to this blog when I saw that. You and Nitmos are the best. GL in your race.


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