Monday, December 1, 2008
It’s Not a Tumor
The mystery of my knee has been solved, thanks to the miracle of internet self-diagnosis. I recently followed an ad to the iVillage Symptom Solver website which asked me lots of questions about the pain and then proceeded to tell me that I have rheumatoid arthritis.
If it is rheumatoid arthritis then I’m screwed because the Symptom Solver also told me that there is no cure for R.A. That Symptom Solver has the worst bedside manner ever. Seriously, you can’t break that to me a little easier? You can’t tell me gently that there isn’t a cure? You can’t warm up your hands before we do the hernia check?
Despite the thorough diagnosis of the Symptom Solver, I won’t be cancelling my trip to the Orthopedic Specialist this afternoon. Hopefully he’ll be able to give me a better answer, with any luck it will even be the right answer and hopefully his hands will be warmer too. I’m actually kind of excited to go see the doctor and find out what’s wrong with my knee and what treatment it requires. I’ll bet dollars to donuts that it’s not any of the items listed on Symptom Solver’s results because even if I lose, most donuts cost close to a buck now anyway.
My guess is that it’s Patellofemoral Syndrome or Chlamydia... no... wait, I think I mean Chondromalacia. It had better not be Chlamydia, I hear that will really mess up your knee.