Wednesday, November 19, 2008

You’re Hurt Because You’re Weak!

[a post by Candis]

Remember this post? It’s payback time!

As you all know from Ian’s last post he hurt his widdle knee on his long run last weekend.

Ian took his usual hour to prepare for his run Saturday. He mixed potions, calculated gels, went out on the back deck and then put on gloves, went out on the front porch and then took off his gloves, set up his private water station at the street and triumphantly announced he would return in an impressive 2 hours and 40 minutes (while we could also see him at his water stops). He bounded down the street while 2 PJ clad boys screamed “run blazing fast Daddy!” maybe they should have shouted “Don’t bust a knee Daddy!”

Tick, tick, tick... 45 minutes gone and the phone rang. I knew who it was and knew he needed a ride. Let’s just say it’s happened before. It’s a bad habit someone started. “Something’s really wrong. I can’t put weight on my knee... wait, let me try to run some more (genius)... argggg! Can you come get me?”

“Boys! Gotta’ go get Dad.” They jump in the car without so much as a question (normal).

All the way home, Ian showed his calmness and played down the injury. “I missed another run this week because of that dinner and now I owe RazZDoodle a beer and I probably won’t be able to go long next week, my marathon training is ruined!”

All day Saturday and all day Sunday Ian sulked around the house and used his “injury” to get out of being a useful human being. I thought he was really, really injured. “Oh, I wonder when you can get in to the doctor to get that looked at,” I asked worriedly.
“It’s not serious enough to warrant a trip to the doctor’s office,” but it was serious enough that he was unable to get up and get a beer. It was serious enough that he couldn’t stand to make chocolate milk for the boys. It affected his ability to think. He couldn’t even remember for himself when he had last taken Advil! “Honey, can I take more Advil yet? Do you remember what time I took it?”

Why is it that men are such babies about getting hurt or injured? I’ve never heard a grown man complain so much about how cold an ice pack was. Ya, it’s ice, it’s supposed to be freezing.

Don’t even get me started on his FBNH recovery system or whatever he called it. It was more like CLAW- Complaining, Loafing, Advil and Whining. (At least mine actually makes a word.)

This is all very suspect. It’s convenient that Ian got injured at the start of the weekend. He had to rest during football- all 7 games that we watched.

Hey, Ian was right -for once- it is fun to mock other people’s pain!

22 comments:

  1. You see. This is why you should NEVER give your spouse posting permissions on your blog. Ever.

    Baby, you’re so not getting any tonight!

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  2. Hell, it took him until Sunday to email me his sob story with his results. I felt bad for him at the time.

    RazZDoodle - 1 Guinness
    Vanilla - 0

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  3. Candis, I adore you more than you will ever know. This post was fabulous!

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  4. Baby, you’re so not getting any tonight!

    That's what I say to Teh 'Bride when what I mean is I'm just not going to wake her up for it. Who needs the criticism? What's it to her how I -

    ...O, yeah.

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  5. Nice! Why we do it is a secret, one that I will not be responsible for divulging...

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  6. Awesome. I wish my wife was as supportive of my running as Candis...

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  7. Aha! The True Hollywood Story behind Vanilla's sob story. I should've known...

    And yes, leave it to the fairer and smarter sex to come up with abbreviations that make sense.

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  8. I'd like to order more Candis, please!

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  9. This whole "injury" thing smelled of weakness from the beginning. Thanks for bringing it to our attention, Candis.

    Vanilla, kudos for figuring out how to get more beer without further injury. You've proven that the "fairer and smarter sex" is also easily duped.

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  10. HAHAHA this is so awesome. Please guest post more often.

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  11. Her post should be added to the "Best of Half-Fast" section. Classic!

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  12. Interesting. My spouse (not a runner) tends to get "sick" and have to camp out on the couch watching football all day Sat & Sun. His illness makes him unable to help around the house, do yardwork, run errands...etc. He also is too sick to get up and get his own NyQuil (or whatever he is taking) and often needs me to run to the store to get new/more medicine. Then on Monday he feels all better and goes to work.

    I think its just a case of the man-disease.

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  13. Hahaha! Great post Candis. Gals are much tougher than guys!

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  14. Now that's a great post :-)

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  15. Dang, the whole scenario sounds so familiar ... wives of injured runners unite!

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  16. I like complaining about my pain to non-runners, i can exaggerate about it and they wouldn't know any better ;-). Grown men deserve a good cry!

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  17. Excellent! Can you post more often? ;o)

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  18. Thattt just made my day.
    Thanks Candis:)

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  19. Until further notice, I'll just go ahead and assume Vanilla is weak. Thanks for the heads up.

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  20. I love you, Candis. When are you going to come to my neck of the woods so we can run a race together? And by run a race together, I mean go out for margaritas.

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