Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Runners Expose Their Pumpkins, Get Ticketed

The Naked Pumpkin Run took place in Boulder, CO on Halloween night and police were out in full force ticketing people for indecent exposure. As opposed to ticketing them for decent exposure which is what happens when models and beautiful people expose themselves and is only a misdemeanor if there are kids around. You might remember that I had mentioned the event in a previous post, but I just wanted to write a quick follow up today because things got interesting this year.

In this the 10th annual Naked Pumpkin Run through the streets of Boulder police decided to crack down on the naked runners and issued citations to 12 of them. There were upwards of 100 participants this year, so I’m not sure what these 12 people did to warrant indecent exposure citations but I’m sure you can all come up with some creative guesses in the comments. Now pay attention because this is where the story gets really funny, if these charges stick the naked pumpkin runners will have to register themselves as sex offenders. ROFLOL! It’s funny because it’s not happening to me!

I’m no legal expert but I’m fairly certain that being required to register as a sex offender has far reaching implications that could possibly change your life forever. Your neighbors will shun you, no one will let you near their kids, and you could possibly lose your job and find it difficult to get another one. No, stop, you’re killing me! I’m in tears laughing over here! OK, maybe it’s not quite as funny as I’m making it out to be, but next time you decide to expose your pumpkins (unisex euphemism) and go running down the street you might want to think twice. Heck, even thinking once might have helped in this situation.

[Source: Daily Camera]


  1. Sounds like 12 people need to crank it up during speedwork.

  2. I was gonna say what Chia did.

    But seriously, that's actually not funny at all; if those people really do get charged for that and are registered sex offenders, it could ruin careers and lives.

    On the plus side, the would no longer have to worry about buying candy for potential trick or treaters.

  3. Hey Vanilla, I'm a runner in Atlanta and I've been following your blog for a couple weeks now. ( I JUST started irunatlanta.blogspot.com) Anyways, I had to comment because SNL just did a sex offender skit I think you ought to look up. Could be in these guys' near future...

  4. I have a story too. The first year I did the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer we were walking through the financial district of San Francisco (Ok I guess I could stop right there hu? But I won't)and a group of 25+ bicycle riders rode past us ... nekid as jaybirds. Of course no one sited them but thats why they are in Boulder Colorado and not SF, California.

    Its not funny but true. You want to run around town naked? Take a hint from Bill Engvall: Here's your sign (sex offender: Bummer)

  5. How did they identify the ticketed. Did the citation read:
    Name: Silly Pumpkin Head with pointy tooth and crossed eyes.
    Citation: 5150 (It's criminal insanity)
    Court Date: 27 November 2008
    Notes: Bring pie, wear clothes.

  6. In some states, a guy can become a registered sex offender if he goes off into the bushes to take advantage of his outdoor plumbing.

  7. That's the difference between cyclists and runners.

    Or maybe it's a sign you're living in the Wrong State.

    To quote a judge, "cycling in Portland is a 'well-established tradition'" and thus not a crime.

  8. Except that he was wearing a helmet, so I suppose that's not really nekkid, is it?


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