Monday, July 28, 2008

Chicked on my Long Run

It’s been a while since anyone overtook me on one of my training runs, it’s been even longer since a chick did it. However, on Saturday morning after my long run I found myself resetting my consecutive-days-without-getting-chicked counter back to zero. It happened early on in my twelve miler, which gave me over an hour to reflect on what a failure I was, and also to think up some good excuses for why it happened.

I was right around the 3 mile mark when I heard footsteps behind me and I knew instantly that I was beaten. The chick’s heels never touched the ground as she pranced past me displaying the air of superiority that I usually like to exude. She looked kind of manish, and should have expected that I’d describe her in such a manner regardless of whether or not it was true. She bounced along ahead of me in a singlet and short running shorts, obviously a seasoned runner from the lack of anything resembling body fat. Seriously ladies, you’d have hated her, but it doesn’t matter because I hated her enough for all of us.

My first excuse thought was that she was running at a faster pace because she was only running a mile or two. However, she was wearing a fuel belt that indicated otherwise. Next it occurred to me that she was doing quarter mile intervals and that I’d witness her stop or slow down shortly, but that never happened. Finally I concluded that there were only three possible explanations for her overtaking me:
  1. Steroids, and lots of them.
  2. She was some type of running cyborg sent here from the future by my future self to motivate me to run faster. I’m clever like that, at least I will be in the future.
  3. Some combination of 1 and 2.

It’s that simple. So if you’re a woman and think that you’re faster than me you might want to get a blood test or an x-ray to make sure that you’re not unwittingly on the juice or actually a robot. If both of those come up negative then I hate to tell you this, but you’re a man.

Other than that little snafu, my long run went really well. I was able to push the pace down under 8:50 miles for the last part of the run which was very encouraging, and I felt pretty good. I’m feeling good about my chances for a PR in the Georgetown to Idaho Springs Half Marathon in 2 weeks, but I’ll have more on that at a later date.


  1. She probably really had a peen in those shorts, I'm sure of it ;-)

  2. What's really annoying is that these fabled faster chicks, whom I've never, ever seen, ever, they refuse to slow down right after they pass you so that you can admire their form.

  3. "It’s Ok, Accidents Happen"

    I'm telling you this knowing it makes NO sense. My 4 yr old has said it for over a year to EVERYHTING his 16 yr old brother says that is wrong
    (i.e., Brandon-"I lost my house key"
    Park-"Accidents Happen"
    Brandon-"Me & Michelle broke up"
    Park-"accidents Happen"
    Brandon-"I hate my stupid job"
    Park-"Accidents happen")

    SO, maybe she "accidentally chicked you"; maybe she meant to stop to turn before she accidentally chicked you!
    Just a thought!

  4. Doesnt she know the rules? No chicking on a long run?

  5. So, I take it there are a lot of animatronic roid-fueled hermaphrodites in Colorado.

    Good to know.

  6. Didn't she inspire you to speed up so you could continue admiring her form?

  7. Hi there! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm so excited about the FIRST program. I did my very first workout (track repeats) for the 10K plan yesterday and while it was challenging, it was also totally doable and I feel terrific today. I'm very hopeful. It's encouraging to hear from other people (like you) who have already used the program.

    Now, about getting chicked... you won't be too upset if I let out a very small applause for cyborg chick, will you? ;p It's just a 'girl thing'... even if she did have a peen under those shorts. Egads!

  8. I have so much to say, I just blogged it. Just hope you didn't get "henned."

  9. I "chicked" a guy in the pool. That felt good. Let us enjoy it. :)

  10. I guess I should have waved and acknowledged you, eh?

  11. Perhaps it is you who are the robot and each night when you fall asleep, data uploads to a satellite and is then downloaded to a master database deep, deep, deep in the Wyoming Mountains to be used to identify these so-called "faster" women and take requisite actions when the time comes.

  12. Thanks for letting me visit your hometown. I had a great run--my only complaint is that your town is full of old, slow male runners who mistakenly think they are hot stuff.

  13. Before I met my wife, I used to take that as an opportunity to speed up and not have to run alone. Actually, that's kinda how I met my was during a workout at least...

  14. 8:50 miles and you're complaining about getting passed? Give me a break...

  15. Note to all male runners:
    1)We will pass you and
    2)If we do we will continue with good form.

    Then we will duck into the woods until you pass us again so you can think we're faster than you.

  16. I'm running the Georgetown to Idaho Springs Half, as well!

    How could you recognize me? I'll be the guy in the back hating everyone in front of me. Umm... Err... Except for you, of course...

    August 9th - Georgetown (did it last year).

    October 12th? Chicago Marathon!

    See you at Georgetown! At least the back half of you... Grr...

  17. It doesn't suck as much as being "geriatricked"

  18. 1. Don't worry, I won't pass you, I am a back of the pack kinda girl.

    2. Chicked and Geriatricked!!! I love it.

    3. Hi you don't know me but I just happened to find your blog thanks to Laura of Absolut(ly) Fit. Nice to meet you.


  19. Thanks to your post, the term

    "Getting Chicked"

    is now officially in the dictionary, check it out.

  20. and it's officially a t-shirt (for men AND women!)

  21. Gretchen, that's fantastic! I'll be sure to mention it when I make my triumphant return to blogging... any day now.

  22. You're running 8.5... Less QQ please


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