Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Future Races?

I really don’t run a lot of races, I figure by giving myself several months between races I have a better chance of continuing my streak of always running a PR at every race. Recently though, two additional races were brought to my attention, one by a reader and one by my own astuteness and I think that they deserve some consideration.

The first race for consideration is the Four on the Fourth 4K, an Independence Day celebration. Huge thanks to Q, the devastatingly fast reader who e-mailed me to tell me about this race. This 4K is sponsored by Avery Brewing Company, and the overall winners will earn their weight in beer as a prize, which brings up an interesting dilemma if you think you’re capable of winning the whole thing. Do you try to gain weight so that you can win more beer or do you cut weight so that you can increase your pace and thus your chances of winning the beer? Fortunately, it’s not a dilemma that I have to worry about. However it is worth noting that each of the age group winners also win a case of beer. If ever there was a time for my first age group win then this is it.

The only reason that I might have to pass on this race (other than snooze-button-overuse) is because I am waiting to find out if I get invited to play in a US vs England soccer match that I played in last year on July 4th.

The next race up for consideration is the Denver Gorilla Run, those of you who voted that I should do the slip ‘n’ slide (90% of you) will like this one because you have to run dressed as a Gorilla. It’s a 5.6K but other than that I don’t know much about it. Apparently the proceeds go to the Mountain Gorilla Conservation Fund to benefit the Mountain Gorillas, probably by building them new schools and providing them text books or something. Anyway, they give you a Gorilla suit and you get to keep it! I’ve always wanted to own my own gorilla suit so if I participate in this race it will be one more thing that I can cross off my bucket list. Prizes are awarded for Highest Fundraising Gorilla, First to Finish, Furthest Traveled Gorilla and Most Creative Gorilla costume (i.e. what you add to your monkey suit to make it stand out). I’m thinking The Vanilla Gorilla costume is a shoe-in for first place. Shoes! I bet the proceeds go towards new shoes for the gorillas.

The most likely hindrance to me participating in this event is the high entry fee ($150). I guess that’s attributable to the gorilla suits that they give out and the rising cost of gorilla text books. The best thing about both of these races, other than an excuse to keep calling everyone a “damned dirty ape,” is that I have never run a 4K or a 5.6K (who has?) which means that they would both be PRs by default. Anytime you can guarantee yourself a PR just by completing an event, that’s a good thing.


  1. You should show up wearing Rambo fatigues and then tell them that you thought it was a guerilla race not a gorilla race. Then proceed to chase the gorillas with your machete!

  2. ...or hope for rain and wear a shirt that says "gorilla in the mist."
    If the race is in the summer, I frankly think they should pay *you* $150 to run in a suit of fur.

  3. You must run in the gorilla race. Your kids don't really need to be fed for the next month anyway.

  4. I think you should do the gorilla one...that would be too funny not to mention you'd get your gorilla suit~~~

  5. At Runnin' of the Green 7k, on the Post Race Survey, one of the questions was "Did you run a PR?"

    Wait, I better go check my records off ALL the 7ks that I have run in my lifetime. Yep, PR it was.

  6. Beer vs. Gorilla? Wow, this is a decision for the ages. Good luck with that one.

  7. you could get fake bugs & put them all over the costume & pick at yourself while you run; OR you could get EDIBLE bugs, & eat them off yourself as you run, which would be gross & Funny.......

    you could put a pink ballerina outfit on your gorilla costume & spin occasionally as you run....

    lots of options . . . . . don't they have like a gorilla island show on Discovery??? Maybe a few ideas there

    Good luck in the soccer deal though..I mean I hope you get invited.

  8. by EDIBLE< I meant candy like, not like candy-coated.......think gummybears, but bugs

  9. Look at it practically:

    No way of winning your age group vs. you get a gorilla costume + you help out our evolutionary cousins

    Gorillas win.

  10. SINCE you don't run many races, you should live a little and do this 150$ gorilla 5.6k (what an odd distance).
    Plus you have a halloween costume for years to come..

  11. That's a nice dilemma to have. The more I think about it, the more I realize how much my town sucks for cool races like that. *groan*

  12. I would say lose the weight to increase your chance of winning. Let's face it, with all that beer, you are going to gain the wieght back anyway.

  13. $150 is steep, but it could be fun. Do they cover your head as well?

  14. That sounds really fun, and I would seriously consider doing it. I went to check out the results, and found some interesting things:

    1. In 2006, I would have won furthest traveled gorilla. In 2007 I would have lost to some Eskimo.
    2. Jake Donahue won First Gorilla to cross the finish line on his bike in both 2006 and 2007. He was 7 years old both years. I smell shenanigans...
    3. Mike Jeske won most creative both years, for going as King Kong. You can TOTALLY beat that. Maybe I'll dress up as King Kong, to ruin his chances of being creative, and then you can take the prize!


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