You might have noticed from the race pictures that Candis posted yesterday (without my express written permission I might add) that we were both wearing a Garmin during our recent 10K. It’s true, we’re a 2 Garmin family. Why do we need 2 Garmins? Why can’t we just share one?
We’ve become Garmin-dependent. I can no longer run without my Garmin, how would I know how fast I was going or how far I’d gone? It’s true what they say, “once you go Garmin you never go back.” That is what they say, right? I guess you could argue that the only time that we need 2 Garmins is when we both enter the same race, but the thought of having to run a race without my Garmin is a terrifying nightmare, one that I don’t care to dwell on at length. Plus, what if I like to have my screens set up to view different information than Candis does? What if the battery was dead in one of them when I wanted to go for a run? You don’t seriously expect me to just use a stopwatch do you? What is this, the stone age?
But I confess, the reason for our double Garmin awesomeness goes beyond practical application. It’s also a status symbol. We like to think of ourselves as being like those extravagant families in the 50s who owned 2 TVs. Sure, at the time everyone thought they were spendthrifts, splashing their money around like an out of control fire hose, but it wasn’t long before everyone followed suit.
We like to stand at the start of races both fiddling with our Garmins and talking loudly about what settings we’re going to use so that everyone knows that we’re a 2 Garmin family. The next time I run a race without Candis, I’m going to wear both Garmins on one arm, mostly so that everyone can marvel at me, but also as a backup in case one fails. Also this will allow me to look at 8 different readouts at once. I’ll have no time left for watching the path I’m running on so please try to stay out of my way. The guy with 2 Garmins is coming through!
Let’s be honest, you probably didn’t notice from the pictures that we were both wearing Garmins, and that’s why I felt the need to point it out to you today. How else would you know how cool we are? It’s not like I’m ever going to have an excuse to post pictures of my Country Club Membership, my personal humidor, or my finely tailored suits that I lovingly tuck into my Louis Vuitton garment bag when I’m flying in spacious First Class.