I was excited to go outside and run this past weekend, to get away from my children and take advantage of the weather. Calendars and bloggers everywhere claim “Spring is Springing!” LIARS! As I was waiting for Ian to get home from his run the sun vanished, the clouds came, and the wind picked up. That was it, I was hamstering it, and then something happened when I opened my closet to find my running gear; I saw price tags instead. Oh yes, I bought that for the cold. The next thing I knew, I was wearing all my cold gear. I don’t think I voluntarily picked it, or agreed to run outside. It’s like when your car drives you somewhere without you paying any attention. I headed out the door and muttered something about being back in 10 minutes to run my eight miles on my hamster wheel.
Even with Easter looming, there was no spring to be found. I exited the neighborhood and it began snowing. Ahhhh, Colorful Colorado. LIARS! I haven’t seen any color in months. Then I realized, I wasn’t cold and it was quiet. Yup, I was going 8 miles, because that my friends, equals an hour and a half of quiet (mothers of toddlers are odd creatures.) I looooove Nike. The factory must be like the Fairy Godmother’s magic factory in Shrek complete with colorful explosions of fireworks and athletes pouring snow, ice and wind into giant vats. Then Voila! Out comes Nike Deep Freeze Pro Gear. I don’t know what “Dri-FIT” is and the factory workers probably don’t either. How can a shirt keep you so warm and still breathe after 5 miles? Magic baby! The beauty is that I don’t really care why. Plus they have a killer marketing department that makes me get off the couch and run.
I am a running gear addict. We’re all addicted to something: caffeine, sugar, those paper Starbucks cups. I NEED all this running gear. It gets me out of my head. It prevents me from thinking, “can’t feel my legs” with each step. You saw the Nike commercial, it’s dangerous not to feel your steps. I need a shirt for freezing, a shirt for wind, a shirt for blistering heat. It makes me run outside. I’m really a closet hamster, I like the treadmill. The treadmill makes me run how I’m supposed to, it has no hills and no weather swings. But I learned when I was little that if you spend your milk money on candy, you’d better enjoy it. (Also you’d better not let your Mom know you did it.) Same applies now. Do my kids really NEED this much milk? This shirt lets me run in 100 degree weather. It’s not like they’re malnourished. It makes me run faster and further- and it’s paying off. You won’t be seeing me crying on a Richard Simmons Infomercial. I’ll be running with these wacky boys- they’ll thank me later.
I love all my running paraphernalia. Running in the cold makes you feel hardcore. You get smiles from people who wish they were as cool as you. Maybe it’s all in my head but I run further with Clif Shot Bloks, Accelerade (which turns into a nice slushy when it’s freezing- yum), Eminem and Gustavo (Ian’s Garmin).
Hey! I have another idea I conjured up- wouldn’t it be cool if Nike made cold gear shirts with zip sides for those temperature swings? Hey Allison, you don’t have another cousin who works for Nike do you?
If only Nike had opened their magic factory in the 50’s, imagine how much faster our icons could have been. Ahhh, but they were so much tougher than I am.