Friday, March 28, 2008

Gait Analysis

Candis and I headed down to our local Rec Center this past Wednesday night because they were doing free gait analysis sessions for runners and I have always subscribed to the premise “if it’s free, it’s for me.” The gentleman who appeared to be performing the analysis immediately gave off the impression that he was a smooth operator. He had slick, dark hair and was more tan than anyone in the northern hemisphere should be in March with the possible exception of George Hamilton. His movements were fluid and calculated and I immediately decided that I didn’t trust him at all. He completed his own character assassination when he introduced himself to me as “Dr. D.” It seemed strange that he would avoid using his last name, especially when he later introduced himself to my wife and gave her his complete last name.

We had a brief discussion and I could tell by the way he threw around words like “alignment” and “adjustment” that he was a chiropractor i.e. not a real doctor. Then he asked me to take off my shoes and socks and run on the treadmill while he filmed it for a couple of minutes. Having never run barefoot, with the exception of chasing my wife around the bedroom (high five myself), it felt strange. My stride didn’t feel right. I was up on the balls of my feet much more than I normally would have been, and in the quarter mile that I ran on the treadmill I never felt like I settled in to my stride.

We looked at the footage on Dr. D’s computer and he informed me that as far as my stride, everything was centered and looked good (I’ll say). I didn’t over-pronate or supinate or coagulate, I was just plain average. The one thing that he did point out was that my right elbow seemed to flail out to the side a little more than my left elbow and this was perhaps due to the fact that my alignment was off. I could see where this was heading. He informed me that they were holding a runner’s clinic next week covering things like gait, alignment, and various tips for runners to make sure you’re running with the utmost efficiency. It was not a free clinic.

I didn’t feel like Dr. D ever really told me what I could do to fix my right elbow flail and he even seemed to avoid directly answering some of the questions I had for him. He kept telling me that they were going to cover some of these things at the clinic. It was like I was talking to a politician. I declined to sign up for the clinic because I didn’t see how I was going to find the solutions to the glitches in my individual gait by paying to sit through a generic presentation to a bunch of fellow dupes.

I was beginning to wonder if this had been a complete waste of time when my wife made it all worthwhile. Once she had finished her barefoot gait analysis, Dr. D asked her if she had ever been to see a chiropractor before. “Yeah,” she answered without realizing that Dr. D was probably a chiropractor “but it was totally worthless.” Just like that she trampled all over his ego, and she did it without any right elbow flail at all.

*This post does not apply to Jared Lawson, who is a level headed and legitimate chiropractor.

24 comments:

  1. Candis is my hero for the day, go Candis!

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  2. I've got food that coagulates much more than I supinate or overpronate.

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  3. not a fan of chrios. the last one I went to said that most people should give up running by my age (35). I did not go back for a return visit.

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  4. Candis is awesome. Go chase her around the bedroom. High five!

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  5. D for Doom, Death, Debilitating Injury, D!&khead? I guess we'll never know?

    My Chrirporactor is ace though, and my insurance covers it!

    As for you elbow, two suggestions, keep your arm in your shirt or Duct Tape; either will work but be careful you could have someone's eye out if it goes untreated.

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  6. My chiropractor says everyone should be able to do in their 80s whatever activity they did in their 20s -- just maybe slower.

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  7. sounds like a scam to me.

    solution to stop flailing arm: stop flailing arm.

    kinda like the way to run faster is to run faster. most problems have a simple resolution if you think on it a minute.

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  8. Your wife kicks ass!

    I once said, "Chiropracters are quacks" in a room full of them (not knowing, of course).

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  9. OMG....I'd have loved to see his face when she said that....LOL...as soon as you said he had you run barefoot I knew something was up. Every video I've seen had people wearing their running shoes. Nice call!!

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  10. "just plain average". Another commonly used slang for that expression? "vanilla".

    I love the use of "character assasination" here and will be stealing it for my own blog soon because that's what I do.

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  11. I'm amazed he didn't immediately try to sell you orthotics. Another common chiropractic M.O. What's wrong? Who cares just put these baby's in and it'll fix you right up! Because we all know a bandage is better than fixing the problem. Good on Mrs Half-Fast.

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  12. Way to go, Candis! Dr. D sounds like the embodiment of a stereotype and because of his owns actions (not and indictment of all chiroprators) he deserved her unknowing jab.

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  13. brilliant AND timely. i just went off on my mom, telling her that chiropractors are charlatans.

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  14. ROFLMAO! Dude that is swwwweeett! HAHAA

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  15. One of my biggest pet peeves is the pseudo doctors who go by "Dr. Initial" or "Dr. First Name"! If you're a real effing doctor and you want people to address you, it's "Dr. + Last Name" no other version! Basically, what any other version says to me is: "I like to pretend that I'm relaxed about my doctor-hood and therefore I go by my initial or my first name; however, I am pretentious enough that I want you to recognize that I graduated medical school [perhaps in the Virgin Islands, but that doesn't really matter, does it?] by addressing me as 'Dr."

    Annoying. Good for your wife.

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  16. Sounds like a scam to me. Dr. D sounds like the chiropractor my brother went to recently. If he signed up for a plan for 20-30 visits he'd get him all lined up again.
    On the other hand, I did have one help me out in college after only 5 visits. All depends on the doctor, I guess. That is great what you wife said though.

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  17. Sounds like you should change his name to ... dramatic pause... Dr. No!

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  18. Yeah, maybe next time you should take the free part to mean scam.

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  19. And that's why you love her right? It's funny because my friends sister in law has just graduated from Chiropracter school and his family now thinks that it's the cure for EVERYTHING.

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  20. I'm a swimmer, sculler, cyclist, trying to become a runner and chiropractor. I came to this article trying to find REAL help for issues that have always caused me problems when running.

    Although this chiropractor exhibited unsavory behavior its a shame that most people posting here are so closed minded. I've be helped a great deal by chiropractic after recovering from a cervical spine fracture but I don't pretend that its a cure-all.

    Note all of the activities in which I participate. These more than anything have allowed me to be as healthy as I am despite the fact that I was told by my orthopedic surgeon almost 30 years ago that I should stop all athletic activities because it would cause me to be in pain for the rest of my life.

    Stay away from this particular guy or those like him but PLEASE recognize that every type of heath care has its place, physical therapy, massage therapy, chiropractic, physiatry (physical medicine/rehab MD's), and surgeons.

    If you go way, way back in medical history to the father of modern medicine you'll find some interesting things. Hippocrates advocated many things to maintain health including exercise, rest, a good diet, fresh air, and cleanliness. In some of his writings he also advocated spinal manipulation when indicated.

    It seems that keeping an open mind would also be helpful to maintaining good health.

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  21. Thanks for sharing the link, but unfortunately it seems to be down... Does anybody have a mirror or another source? Please reply to my post if you do!

    I would appreciate if a staff member here at www.half-fast.org could post it.

    Thanks,
    Jules

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  22. Anonymous, what link are you referring to? The only link in the post is still working.

    Are you a bot?

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