“Some people found the smell pleasant and similar to the smell of vanilla.” Source: WebMD.It's true, when I get a good run going and really start to get lathered up I smell like freshly baked cookies wafting past you. It's probably what makes me feel so hungry when I run. People continually find themselves strangely drawn to me.
You might be thinking "wait a second, aren't people dying of cancer and heart disease every day in this great nation? Shouldn't these scientists be spending their efforts on THAT?" And if you are, let me stop you right there. Sure, there are people suffering from innumerous terminal illnesses and diseases, but those people can be comforted by the fact that they won't stink. Besides they're probably being punished for something really bad that they did, either in this life or a previous one. I say that if we can't research the genetics behind sweeter smelling sweat, then the terrorists have already won.
Some people dare to dream about a world without death and disease. I dream about a world without body odor, a world far superior and more aromatic than your overpopulated world without death and disease.
Now, I don't like to throw the word 'hero' around willy nilly, but I believe that these scientists are the real heroes. Is there a nobler pursuit in life than stomping out body odor? It doesn't seem like there could be. Alas, I will have to content myself with spreading delight to the nation's nostrils one pair at a time, and enlightening this harsh world one blog-reader at a time.
Up next for research: What is it that makes me really, really, ridiculously good looking? How does my hair stay so shiny, full and free from split ends? Why do men and women alike find themselves lost in my deep blue eyes, dreaming about walks on the beach and hot cocoa by an open fire? Do not despair fair reader, science will one day triumph against these mysteries and we will all know the answers. Until then, keep fighting the good fight.