Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Running With Celebrities

I received an e-mail from the Denver Marathon a couple of days ago inviting me to bid on the opportunity to run part of the Denver Marathon with a Denver "celebrity." Apparently 13 Denver "celebrities" will run 2 miles each to benefit a charity of their choosing. Let's take a look at the list so that you stop wondering why I keep using the "air quotes" when I say "celebrity."

  • Bill Romanowski - Former Broncos Player
  • Alex Smith - a cast member of MTV's Real World Denver
  • Scott Elrod - a cast member on ABC's Men in Trees
  • Jake Schroeder - lead singer of Opie Gone Bad
  • Marni Rachich - "Peekaboo Screech" on the Denver Roller Dolls (you have to click that link, it's pretty high on the unintentionally funny scale.)
  • Vic Lombardi - CBS4 sportscaster
  • Maggie Ireland - Miss Colorado 2007 (pictured right)
  • Chris Anthony - an extreme skier and star of 17 Warren Miller films

That is a pretty sad indictment of the celebrities we have here in the Denver area, I think I'm probably in the top 25. Anyway there is a clear winner in the bunch, and I'd like to ask for your donations so that I can run with... *drum roll please*... Miss Colorado 2007, Maggie Ireland. We have so much in common that we could talk about during our 2 miles together. For example, Maggie is a beauty queen, and I like to daydream about beauty queens. Maggie strongly holds to her beliefs that we can find optimism in the midst of adversity and I strongly hold to my beliefs that Maggie is a smokin' hottie.

If you possess an IQ in the double digit range then you've probably already noticed that there is something wrong with the above list, something other than the fact that they're playing it pretty fast and loose with the term "celebrity." The list only has 8 people on it, which means that there are six... no... four... several people who will be added at a later date. I assume that the race organizers are presently scouring the state for anyone who's remotely famous. Pretty soon the list will be completed and the last "celebrity" that's added will be that guy on his cell phone behind home plate at the Rockies game who's always on TV. If he turns it down, I'm next in line.

If you're so inclined you can view the full Maggie Ireland, Miss Colorado 2007 gallery.


  1. "My girlfriend can beat up your dad?" That was scary!!

    That is quite the list. There are even less in Iowa, maybe Tom Arnold, if you use the term loosely! :0)

  2. Well, this kinda looked bad opening up at my work computer. Oh well.

  3. I'll donate $1. Let me know if you win. Can you request that she wears a bikini when she runs?

    If I could pick any celebrity to run with, I think I would pick Bill Murray. He's funny and he would make me look like a damn good runner.

  4. I'm straight as an arrow, but I can't argue with you...she's a smokin' hottie.

    Oh, and I'd pay NOT to run with one of those roller derby girls. They washed my car, and that's enough for me!

  5. No Allen Iverson, oh wait, I forgot he doesn't practice.

  6. Encourage the Denver Marathon officials to look at some us running bloggers as celebs. We could nominate some characters.

    Wonder if they've given any thought to also including the Miss Colorados from 2000 - 2006?

  7. I agree with Pat, it will only be good if she runs in a bikini. Maybe one of her hooters will flop out :P

  8. You are a NUT! Your wife must just roll her eyes constantly!

  9. Dude, I can see where you're coming from. But really, go with the roller derby chick. I'm sure she'll clear the way for you. Argh! Wham! And it'll be the fastest two miles of your life...oh my god, please let no one see me, oh my god, please let no one see me...

  10. OK, so I'm not straight as an arrow and thus must vote for Roller Derby Chick. Even though I couldn't see a picture I'm assuming there must be a least a certain rugged butch charm in order to be a Roller Derby Celebrity. Plus as NoraBarnacle said she'd be quite adept at clearing out anyone who gets in the way...

    Oh wait, I'm not running in the Denver Marathon. We're talking about You. Then yeah, gotta go with Miss Colorado!

  11. I love that you have a tag called, "posts I hope my wife doesn't read."

  12. honey, you can run with her if I can run with Matthew McConaughey.

  13. Make a request to run with Woody Paige. He's a Denver celebrity. If that doesn't work out, you could pick Romanowski, and you could ask him if he "knows anybody" because you're looking to "get a little edge...." on your competition. You ever see that ESPN special on him and how many pills he takes per day? They can't all be legal.

  14. KdoubleA - if I ran with Woody Paige I'd be force to trip him up just to shut him up. I can't stand him.

    Yeah, I saw that special on Romo, he has a giant plastic briefcase of pills and supplements that he takes daily. Got to be something in there that could help me.

  15. You know what's even more unintentionally funny? When someone actually works hard and sacrifices to be good enough at their sport or profession that someone asks them to take part in a charity event and then have some dick with a blog complain how lame they are for not being "celeb" enough. But hey, you've got blog "fans" (note how I quoted "fans" much like you quoted "celebreties") to please, right?

    What's sad is that this blog of yours has made it to some of the "celebreties" who aren't in it to be "celebreties" but to donate time to a charity. Way to crap on people, hot shot.

    I do hope your wife reads this. I'm sure she'll be proud.


  16. Easy there Daniel. If you spend any time on this site at all you’ll notice that pretty much everything here is written with a tongue-in-cheek approach. I’m thrilled that these “celebrities” are doing something nice for a charity. Seriously that’s great. I don’t think that I crapped on anyone in that post. All I did was question whether or not everyone on that list is truly a “celebrity.” If one of them read this and was offended by it, they have my sincere apology as that was not my intent. I don’t think that the average joe would recognize even half of the people on that list if they saw them walking down the street.

    What’s sad is that someone was actually offended by this post. I’m sure that I could Google each of those names and find much harsher critiques of those people than what I’ve written here. If anyone has a problem with the content of this site they are welcome to e-mail me.


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