Thursday, August 16, 2007

The Girl’s Track Coach

Back when first started high school I remember that our girl's track team was never very good. In fact the same year I began attending, the school had just hired a new track coach, as opposed to simply letting the gym teacher continue to coach them. Over the next few years I watched in wonder as they morphed into one of the better teams in the state. The change was so dramatic that rumors started circulating amongst the students that the coach was providing the girls performance enhancing drugs. How could a coach possibly make them this much faster? What kind of training regimen were they using? How come Cindy can bench press more than I can?

For the most part I just assumed that they were nothing more than rumors. Perhaps the coach was giving them supplements or perhaps he was just a really good coach. Then one day I was in the teacher's lounge area right outside their offices waiting to talk to my soccer coach. I saw one of the faster members of the track team head into the coaches office and couldn't help but think that she looked more than a little concerned. I scooted as close to the office as I could without being obvious and tried to listen in.

The girl, who shall remain nameless, began to tell the coach that she was worried. She explained to him that she thought that she was starting to grow hair on her chest. The coach was clearly concerned too and asked her "are you sure? How far down does it go?"
To which she replied "all the way down to my balls!"

Yeah, so that's not true at all. A colleague just told me that joke and I thought I'd pass it on to you since I really don't have much else to say today. For those of you following the nude running priest story that I linked to in the Weekend Splits I can give you a breaking news update though:

DENVER -- The Rocky Mountain News reported additional information that the
priest in question had allegedly appeared nude at a summer camp for Catholic
boys in 1999.

He appeared naked before some Catholic school boys at summer camp?!? I'm shocked! Shocked I tell you! It's things like this that... wait... you mean the priests at summer camp were not supposed to be naked? They told me that was all part of the "summer camp experience."


  1. Ooohhhhhhhh damn you Vanilla! I was hoping it was true and you had some pics (using your secret spy camera of course :P ) to go along with this story. That was a good one though ;-)

  2. Man, I was totally suckered!

    By the by, are you from CO? B/c I am originally from there and much of my family still lives in Lakewood. So, before I found out that story was a joke, I was gonna ask which HS you went to, but now I'm not so sure if I can trust a straight answer from ya.

  3. Well that must have been a crazy act in the camp talent show. Wowzers.

  4. Hook, line, and sinker. You had me the whole story.

  5. Great joke! I like to tell myself that some of those really fast woman at the races are really....not women. Thought of you yesterday as I picked out a new running skirt - you don't know what you are missing by running in boring old shorts.

  6. I was sold, too! You would be fun at sleep-away camp with your story-telling abilities ;)


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