Friday, July 20, 2007

Words I Refuse To Use

There are certain words that you will not see on this blog. Ever. With the exception of this post, because how else would I tell you about them. Oh, and another exception would be the comments section because I know that some of my fine commenters use these words on occasion. No other exceptions… until further notice.

I hereby pronounce the following words banned at Half-Fast:

Half Mary: This is often used in running communities as an abbreviation of half marathon. A half marathon is 13.1 long miles. On October 14th this year the Denver Half Marathon will soundly kick my rump and I'd prefer not to have my rump kicker named after a girl thank you very much. I know that there are many runners who've run longer distances in shorter times, but this will be challenging for me and there will be no sissying it up by referring to it as a half mary. Not on this blog. It was bad enough that during my first attempt at skiing, I was humbled by a bunny slope named the Schoolmarm (more like the Widowmaker), I refuse to now also be humbled by something called the half mary. Perhaps I'll coin a new term; the Half Martin. I think that could catch on quite nicely, although I'm not entirely sure how much tougher Martin is than Mary, with apologies to any Martin's out there reading this... what are you going to do? Beat me up? I doubt it!

Fartlek: If there's anyone reading this who's not familiar with this term you can find an excellent definition of it here. I don't mind when other people use this word but to be blatantly honest with you I think I'm a little too immature to use it. I just don't trust myself to write it without resorting to childish, grade school jokes and none of us wants to see that here on Half-Fast. I'll stick to calling it speedwork or interval training and leave the fartleks to the more serious bloggers who can handle the responsibility of using the word appropriately.

Jog: This also includes any variation of the word, jogging, jogger etc. I'm a runner. I run. Even when I'm doing a recovery run I still consider it running. Everyone has their own opinion on this but that's mine. I know that I used the word in my running vs jogging debate, but there was really no way around it.

Onomatopoeia: Because why would I ever need to use this word on my blog?

That's it for now. Just those four words. I'm sure that I'll have more to add in the future.


  1. I agree with you on the Half-Mary. It's a respectable distance and deserves our praise.

    I like Fartlek's, however, the jokes are the fun part.

  2. Now I'm not so opposed to the half mary because it sounds like a sissy name, but more because it's not easy, if it was I wouldn't be the only one of my friends doing it.

    I also agree that I work to hard to call it a jog. I run, I am a runner, even if I'm not breaking world records.

  3. Good catch on the black on black text. Thanks!! Thanks for reading my blog!

  4. "The difference between a runner and a jogger is an entry blank," -- Dr. George Sheehan

    'Nuff said.

  5. I don't like Half-Mary either, but I love onomatopoeia, I say it all the time ... actually I say on-a-mat-da-pier, just to entertain myself!

  6. Half Mary gets me, not because it implies sissy-ness because I am sure there are some tough as tigers Marys out there, but because it is pure lazy on the part of the person using it. How much harder are two syllables? Just like convo, I think that one makes me shudder more...eek! But, I do like me onomatopoeia.

  7. "Onomatopoeia" dang I haven't hear that word since . . . . HS english?

    Yeah . . . I'm not too partial on the jogger thing either. While I was running once some man yelled out to his son "Hey, be careful where you're going. There's a jogger behind you" F that biatch, I'll show you jogging. How bout I jog my foot up yur @ss!

  8. LOL you are right. Definitely 4 words that should not be used on a runner's blog :)

  9. In my stats class last semester, one of the terms we used was a "P Value"...if the "p value was small, then the null hypothesis could be rejected"...everytime I wrote "small p value" I would snicker...I finally told the guy sitting next to the end of the semester we had to give a presentation where we, collectively, used the words "small p value" more than 25 front of the entire class...snickering after each "small p"...then someone reminded me that i was in grad school and should act more MATURE...dangit...


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