Tuesday, July 17, 2007

To the police officer who almost ran me over in the crosswalk

With apologies to my readers because I usually do try to keep this blog pretty clean, but I cannot think of a better way to express how upset I was with the fat-jelly-donut-eating-traffic-cop who almost ran me down the other day.

I'm running on one of the trails near my house and as per usual I come to a crosswalk which is located in a school zone as it always has been. I look to my left and notice that the oncoming traffic has seen me and has agreed to yield, as per my usual agreement with oncoming traffic at crosswalks. The driver of the first car motions for me to go ahead and as I begin to step out onto the road I smile and wave at him 'thank you!' It is at this point that I turn my head to the right just to make sure that per our usual agreement the westbound lane has also stopped to allow me to traverse the crosswalk upon which I am now embarking.

To my surprise the cop car that is barreling down on me in the far lane actually speeds up to beat me to the crosswalk and effectively cuts me off! This is not per my usual agreement with traffic at crosswalks. Perhaps he was in a hurry to ticket another runner running in a bike lane or perhaps traffic cops are above the law.

As if this wasn't enough, the cop gives me a dirty look and shakes his head (and all four chins) disapprovingly as he speeds through the crosswalk. The CROSSWALK in a SCHOOL ZONE! I froze and took a few steps backwards to avoid getting Rodney King'd on the front of his car and then shook my fist and yelled "you'll be sorry when I write about this in my online journal!" OK, that's not what I yelled, I'm really not that much of a geek but I can't actually print what I yelled and hope to keep my cool PG rating. You might think that yelling at a cop is a bad idea, but let me assure you that there's no way that tubby was going to get out of his car and be faster than me (unless we were having a hot-dog eating contest). I was on the tail end of a 5 mile tempo run and he was still sweating more than I was, probably from struggling to reach the box of Krispy Kreme's that had fallen off the passenger seat. Maybe that's why he was so cantankerous, sometimes they mislabel the jelly donuts and you get cream filled instead. I know that always makes me feel like going out and plowing down some pedestrians!

Picture credit to Lieutenant Winslow


  1. Those runners are just a menace to society.

  2. Ok, I'm sorry that you almost died, but I'm laughing my bones off right now. Every line of this post is freaking hilarious. I'm actually kind of glad you almost got plowed down because this is just cracking me up!

  3. Ok, not only am I an inferior runner (non-runner, actually), now I am totally feeling inferior about blogging. You are cracking me up. I'm going to have to work on the humor. My posts are so blah! I'm definitely coming back :)

  4. Being run over, ok nearly run over, has happened to me far too frequently I think! I mean I sure wouldn't want to hit someone, so I don't know why they would want to hit me.

    I have to say though, it's never been an officer that's tried to take me out... I'm thinking he was jealous because he has to sit in that hot muggy car, while you were out so clearly enjoying the day. Right? Right.

  5. what a jerk, i'm sure your choice words were exactly what i would've said in the same situation. i think what tops it off is that he shook his head at you. he's probably jealous and wanted one less runner out there to make him look bad.

  6. ROFLMAO!! Mental picture of this whole scenario is priceless my friend!

  7. That is crazy! I can't believe a cop would do such a thing. Oh, wait... I guess I could imagine it!

    Thanks for stopping by my site...

  8. ya friggin cops...some of them--grrrrrr

    I got a parking ticket today in a lot that was empty and the meeter had yellow tape on it, but still wrote me up ...I was running the bridge and didn't see him or I would have said something, now I have to pay it ($20 set up--lol ) bastards!

  9. totally. frickin'. hilarious.

    yet maddening at the same time. rude drivers are one thing, but a freakin' cop almost running you over?! too bad you couldn't call in to report him. which would have been totally nerdy and ineffectual, but still...

  10. The police are the klan are the mafia.

  11. They should put that cop on a bike. Runners for a donut free America.

  12. I've been hit by a car before; it isn't the most pleasant sensation that I can think of off of the top of my head.

    You should have called your local police department and filed a complaint. It helps if you note which squad car he is driving, but even if you aren't sure you can still call and lodge a complaint.

  13. Okay, so this post is from more than a year ago, but your latest DNC post led me here and Rob's comment above reminded me of one of my pet peeves. I have no other outlet for it, and I think you'd be an agreeable audience, so I'm gonna do some ranting on your blog, dude.


    Have they SEEN most of the people one finds at Dunkin' Donuts? Those people aren't running ANYWHERE.


    Ahem. Thank you.


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