Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Happy Independence Day!

If you're reading this blog from somewhere other than the good ol' US of A you may not have cared that today is July 4th but here in the home of the Big Mac and the Whopper we love the fourth of July. You see on the fourth of July we don't have to go to work, we grill burgers on the barbeque and then wash them down with watermelon and apple pie. We shoot explosives up into the night sky and 'oooh' and 'aaah' at them. We sing America The Beautiful, and The Star Spangled Banner, little girls wear red, white and blue ribbons in their pigtails and elderly women who haven't thought about our Sovereign Lord since the depression don t-shirts that are emblazoned with the flag and the slogan "God Bless America." US flags are hung outside of every fourth home in suburbia or every other home if you're in the Deep South, and everything that can be bought under the sun comes in red, white and blue today. Radio stations all over the country will be playing Born In The USA by The Boss, TV show news anchors will wear flag lapel pins and a few of the crazier ones will even wear kooky flag ties. Cable television stations will smother us with patriotic movies and I will genuinely get goosebumps during Independence Day when President Bill Pullman declares "We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!" But most importantly, there is absolutely no running on the fourth of July, except maybe to catch a Frisbee or a football. In fact, I've often heard people say "these colors don't run" usually with a thick southern accent and I think that they're really trying to say no running on the fourth of July.

So, to all my fellow American's out there, have a happy and safe fourth of July. To all my British readers out there: THHHPPPPBBBTT!!! (Blowing Raspberry). No taxation without representation! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!


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