Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Running Dad

Last night my wife had to go run some errands which meant that I was watching the boys and could not go outside for my run. I tried telling her that the oldest one is capable of babysitting, but she insists that he's too young (he's 4). Whatever. I ended up getting on the treadmill and telling David (my 4 year-old) to keep an eye on Graham (my 2 year-old) so it all works out the same either way.

I recalled reading somewhere that it is easier to run on a treadmill (no hills, no wind resistance etc.) and that you should set the incline to 1% to simulate running outdoors. I decided to give this a try, but my ego got the best of me and I turned it up to 2%. It didn’t feel like too much of a difference so I kept plugging along. Somewhere around 0.21 miles I heard Graham crying, and not wanting to lose my rhythm or start over I yelled for David to come tell me what had happened. As it turns out "nothing" had happened. I guess he was just screaming bloody murder for the fun of it, I made a quick mental note to discipline him for that after my run.

If you know any 2 or 4 year old boys you know that they're all afterburner and no rudder, so it was only a matter of minutes before there was more yelling and loud banging. Not being someone prone to worry, I quickly came up with a solution. I grabbed the remote control for the iPod speakers and turned up the volume until I could no longer hear said yelling and banging. I enjoyed the remainder of my run in the peace and quiet of my eclectic 'running' playlist consisting of heavy metal, hip-hop and alternative.

Towards the end of my run I began to feel a little discouraged, this was supposed to be an easy run at a 9:30 minute mile pace and I was really struggling. My breathing was harder than usual, my calves were burning more than usual and I was seriously considering slowing down. What on earth was wrong with me? It was during this conundrum that I remembered that I had been running up hill the whole way. I completely forgot that I had set the incline to 2%. What can I say? I'm a genius.

As I was finishing up both of the boys came down to the basement. Both a little sweaty but, no blood and no new bruises. They were exhausted from whatever they had been doing upstairs and quietly sat down at their coloring table. It was at this moment that my wife came home, took one look at our quiet children and me finishing up my run and exclaimed “how did you get them to behave so well?” I merely shrugged. She continued “they NEVER let me run on the treadmill without interruption!” I smiled at her. Some of us are just good parents I guess, and by ‘some of us’ I am of course referring to my wife.


  1. Parenting goal #1: Keep children alive while wife is out.
    Mission Accomplished.

    Parenting goal #2: Make sure house doesn't look destroyed when wife comes home.
    Well... I'm sure it didn't look THAT much worse than it usually does. Mission somewhat accomplished.

    (Your wife doesn't actually read this right???)

  2. Ok as a mom of a 4 year old, I only have my 14 year old babysit. I don't even let my 11 year old do it. So I will just shut up and cringe LOL

  3. Your house sounds fun. I'm wondering if you're interested in babysitting my 2yo boy...he'd just love you!

  4. That is why I do not have kids. I probably would have sseriously done that. ;)

  5. Oh by the way - here i the link to the blog rater.

    I forgot to link the picture on my page!

  6. Hmmm, I don't have kids, but my dog doesn't like it when I head out the front door for my run. He obviously doesn't like being left out, so I must sneak out of the garage instead. My story somewhat unrelated...but your post was hilarious!

  7. Great story! Thanks for sharing it.

    Your running may be half-fast, but your storytelling ability is anything but. ;)

  8. I use the same priniciple when the muffler on my car started making too much noise.
    I love your wife's blog too- and I am not even into weddings in the slightest!

  9. that is a mirror image of a lot of evenings at my house...wife especially gets frustrated when she comes home at 830p and son is sound asleep (when his usual bedtime is closer to 10p). i especially love the statement "all afterburner and no rudder" true is that for both little boys and puppies...


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